Monday, May 4, 2015

The Time I Tried… To be Fearless


Do you make New Year’s Resolutions? If you know me, and/or read this blog, you know I'm a goal-oriented person. So it’s no surprise to hear that yes, I do like to set resolutions. Every December I typically write a whole slew of things I’d like to accomplish in the coming year (along with the things I’m grateful for in the year prior). My 2015 resolution?

Do more of what scares me.

Honestly, when I set my resolution, I didn’t even know what it meant. I just knew this year would be the year I’d push myself out of my comfort zone. And here we are. Almost halfway through 2015 – and I’m ready. I’m ready to do something that I’ve been wanting to do for years, but never had the guts to do.

I am prepping for a Fitness Competition.

And I am fucking terrified.

Whenever I feel scared about something, I try to understand exactly where the feelings are originating from. To help myself rationalize and put these fears to rest, I came up with the top three things that scare me most about competing:

1)    No wine. Sorry not sorry, I love wine! This will be something I will legit miss. And margaritas. Summer is coming – how can you NOT want to drink a skinny marg on a patio somewhere?!
2)    Not being able to eat out. That’s my social time – with friends, family, a special someone… I’m going to become the girl that busts out a chicken breast out of her purse at a nice restaurant. And I’m going to need to be OK with it. So will whoever is sitting across the table from me.
3)    Feeling isolated. I’m a bit nervous that my friends/family/loved ones will not be able to understand/appreciate/be supportive of my new lifestyle. After all, it will require so much dedication and determination on my part. I don’t want to add another layer of complexity by feeling like I need to justify my decision to anyone. I also don’t want to feel that I’ll be missing out on social activities just because I won’t be able to partake in a few libations, cheat meals, etc.

The funniest part? None of the above fears have anything to do with my physical appearance. I’m not scared my body won’t respond to the training. I’m not scared I won’t make the time to hit the gym and log long sweat sessions. Why? Because I’m a bad ass J Really though, I am so determined to crush it in the gym – and watch my body transform over the next few months. I know I can do it, and with the help of my coach, I feel confident that come show time, I will get up on that stage and see all my hard work pay off!

If you need me, you now know where to find me!

So there we go. This has been THE loftiest goal I’ve always been too chicken shit to pursue. And now, thanks to a little NYE resolution, I am about to embark on a 5 month long journey to push my mind, body and spirit to places I have never experienced.

Bring it.

XO,

Jenn

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