Wow. Two whole months of competition prep are now behind me. My show is 18 weeks away this coming Saturday. Time sure is flying. Let's get right to it:
|All sweaty after my last workout of month #2!|
I've cheated. There. I said it. But you know what? Sorry not sorry. It's funny that writing this blog has made me realize just how bad my PMS symptoms hit me. For an entire week, I crave sweets and battle feeling a hodgepodge of being cranky/emotional/sensitive. I was a hot mess! The physical symptoms of cramps/backaches/headaches don't make matters any better, but I digress.
Back to my diet infidelity. I left the gym last Wednesday feeling soooo irritable. I was driving home and said f it, life is too damn short. So I drove my ass over to the grocery store and picked up a pack of Twizzlers (I've ben craving them since day 1!) and allowed myself to get back in the car, turn the radio off - and savor each and every bite of two whole pieces. They were delicious. And when the two pieces were done, I wrapped the rest up and threw them away. If this had been three months ago, I would've probably eaten the entire package before getting home. I am not excusing myself saying cheating on my meal plan is acceptable, but I am extremely impressed with not just the self control, but the healthy attitude I'm taking with food. I hope my days of deprivation and gorging are loooong behind me. I am trying to take a much healthier approach to allowing myself am indulgence when I absolutely want it. I didn't beat myself up the rest of the day, nor did I fall down some slippery slope and continue to indulge. I set a finite amount I'd allow myself - and that was that.
Speaking of indulging... I had another "cheat meal" last Saturday and completely wasted the calories on the shittiest company. Cest la vie. I'm looking forward to this coming Saturday when I'll enjoy a well deserved cheat meal with girlfriends. Those are calories always well spent :)
TSA got a good laugh today when they made me open my suitcase - packed bags of tuna, my beloved food scale, BCAAs, bell peppers, you name it... I find if I always have my healthy eats on me, my success for sticking to the plan is 100%. I'll be honest though - seeing ALL the terribly unhealthy yet super yummy looking food at the airport (cookies, twizzlers, fro yo, you name it...) totally tempt me. Part of me misses the days when I could just walk in to a restaurant and order whatever I wanted, without calculating the macros in my head. But, I will say that feeling this strong and healthy beats the taste of anything. Twizzlers included.
There is no sugar coating that the past week has been a bit emotional. PMS exacerbated some stressful situations, including: my company being acquired and all of the uncertainty that comes with it, an insane feeling of bloat I couldn't shake, pretty serious exhaustion that set in just before the 4th, and a long string of shitty dates. I think I've learned a few lessons over the past few weeks. 1) "Will this matter in 5, 10 or 15 years?" If the answer is no - just let that shit go. 2) With prep, I am so busy - work, teaching, working out, posing on the weekends, seeing friends, spending time with Lucy, resting this sore little body, catching up with family. The are only so many hours in a day, people! Throw dating/getting to know someone into the mix and I feel really stretched thin. Apologies in advance for the rant - but if I hear someone tell me "Let me know when you get another cheat meal" I think I may become unglued. Did I just not get the memo that life is all about food and booze?! Ironically, I just wrote a post on all the different first-date ideas... and here I am.
Ideally I'd love to just find someone that knows me, I know them... and it just "works." Clearly it's not that easy - and I've been struggling with trying to explain my lifestyle, my goals, and my ambitions. It has become quite frustrating feeling like I need to "justify" my choices - and I still have 18 weeks before my show. I'm not sure why it's so hard for some to fathom. Here I am, doing something positive - and if I do choose to let someone into my world, I'd like to think they'd be supportive, kind and understanding.
Okay - rant over :) On to positive things, I went out for a fun girl's night this past Saturday. It felt so nice dressing in something other than gym clothes! Sporting a crop top is something I never thought I would be able to do, so it was nice slipping on some fancy clothes and a smile!
|OH! Hi abs!!|
|Lucy hit July 4th - HARD!!|
|Sharing is caring|
And there we have it! I can't believe we have made it 8 weeks - only 18 more to go :) I hope it goes without saying for you all - but THANK YOU. For following my journey and supporting me!!