Have I seriously made it a month?! A WHOLE MONTH!
Good news first! I have a show date!! Coach Steve and I spoke nearly a week ago, and based on his suggestion, we've chosen Music City Muscle in Nashville, TN as my NPC Bikini debut. If I'm being honest, when he suggested it, I nearly cried. The show is 11/7/15. That's right - NOVEMBER. I become completely overwhelmed with the notion that I would be weighing every morsel of food and keeping my social life on a shelf for nearly 23 more weeks. And since we're really in this trust tree together - I quit. I replied to Steve and said "Well if that's the case, I don't think I can do this anymore. It's just too much."
I QUIT!!! Can you believe it?! But that's not the end of the story here, folks.
He promptly responded. "It all depends on what your priorities are. You look great now. But if you want to compete, and win, it takes dedication and perseverance. November 7th will come whether you're trying for a show or not. Do you want to look good in November? Or just until September (when I thought I was going to compete)?"
Damn you, Steve.
He was right. I became so focused on the restrictiveness of prep that I completely overlooked the real motivation behind why I'm doing this. To be in the best shape of my life and to teach myself that I can do any damn thing I want, so long as I set my mind to it. This is a PRIVILEGE - not a punishment.
And just like that, I was back in the game. Since our conversation, I've made a conscious effort to do more positive "self talk" in times when I feel discouraged. I couldn't understand why week 4 was feeling so hard. And then I realized. I was PMS-ing like a crazy woman. Suddenly my previous flat and somewhat defined lower abs felt like mush and I was craving things I hadn't craved since week 1. I wanted to cry and couldn't figure out why. Damn you, hormones!
I am feeling MUCH better today and after two much-needed rest days, I am re-focused and determined to CRUSH my second month of prep. November will be here before I know it - and knowing I'll be stronger (mentally and physically) than ever is so encouraging.
Meals have been on point this week! When packing for Chi-town, I loaded up my suitcase with fresh veggies, steamer bags, food scale, supplements, and more. TSA agents probably thought I was a nut, but I refused to let my work trip get in the way of keeping to the plan. I even called ahead to my hotel and asked for a fridge and microwave in my room. HOWEVER - shit hit the fan on my return trip. Thanks to a Delta snafu, I was stuck in Chicago Midway Airport for NINE hours. Obviously I ran out of food a few hours in, and began to panic. Where would I eat? What would I eat? As a consolation for our delayed flight, the kind Delta gate agents came around to us with baskets of cookies and chips. Maybe fatigue from sitting at the gate for 9 hours (but probably my PMS), I nearly became UNGLUED on this poor woman. After 5 laps around all terminals, I sulked my way up to the bar of a restaurant that had salads on the menu. I ordered a bowl of iceberg lettuce and a side of grilled/dry chicken breast. I ate my sad meal-in-a-pinch while everyone else around me at burgers/fries and drank beers. I hated life and wanted to get home immediately.
Thankfully, I woke up on the right side of the bed the next day and even tried some new recipes this weekend. I made the most delicious protein pancake that you is totally worth trying : 2/3 cup egg whites, 1/3 cup old fashioned oats and lots of cinnamon. That's it! Mix it up, cook in a pan on medium and top with whatever you'd like (syrup, honey, almond butter, fruit, etc.) Mine (pictured to the left) is topped with one tablespoon freshly ground almonds, 1/2 cup mixed berries and black coffee.
Saturday night I went to a nice, new steakhouse in Atlanta and brought a tupperware container with chicken, quinoa and broccoli. The folks at Oak Steakhouse were SO awesome - they took my sad meal back to the kitchen, warmed it up and put it on a plate so I could eat like a human being. WOO HOO! It might sound silly, but it made my night to be able to feel social, sitting at a bar around people instead of eating out of plastic on my couch alone.
|Lighter and brighter!|
I'm excited to see week over week progress and feel confident I'll bring an amazing package to my show in November. Bonus - I LOVE Nashville, and tons of friends and family have already offered to come be cheerleaders. I may or may not have already googled the best restaurants in Nashville for post-show fun :)