1. Consciously create your life. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says “You’ll never believe what so and so did to me” or “You’re so lucky, Jenn!” Um no. I’m not particularly lucky. I have the same 24 hours in my day. I don’t have things delivered to me on a silver platter. I work. I hustle. While I wholeheartedly recognize there are circumstances that arise in our lives beyond our control, but we ALWAYS have a choice in how we respond. We have the power to shape our day, our life, how we see fit. You don’t like where you are (physically/emotionally)? Move. You’re not a tree.
2. Let life naturally evolve. While I certainly do believe we can manifest the life we want, I do think sometimes we have such an intense desire to want something SO badly that we ruin it before it even begins. We over-think. We imagine. We develop expectations. We worry. We doubt. As a self-confessed worry-wart, any time I feel myself worrying about any one particular topic, I remind myself that worrying is essentially like praying for what you DON’T want. Be patient. Good things take time.
3. Choose to see the good. I don’t care how bad life feels today, there IS something good. Are you choosing to see it? Maybe work sucks. Maybe your relationship just ended. Shoot, maybe you just lost a loved one. It sucks. Your heart aches. I get it, trust me. But here is where things become critical. CHOOSE to challenge yourself in times of sadness to see at least ONE good thing surrounding you. A hug from a friend, a call from a loved one, snuggles from your pup. Whatever it is… there IS good. It’s up to you whether you consciously choose to recognize and appreciate it.
4. Be kind to yourself. You ate too many cookies. You missed a deadline at work. You skipped the gym all weekend. I used to come down so incredibly hard on myself. I’d find myself in these negative spirals of self-talk saying things I would never dream of saying to a friend, sister, or daughter. Why shouldn’t we speak to ourselves how we’d speak to someone we love? Are we not deserving of second chances? Give yourself a break. We’re all trying our best in this crazy game called life.
5. Stop waiting for the next best thing to bring you happiness. I’ve been very open about my struggle with “living in the moment” – it’s just never something that came naturally to me. I’m a planner. I’m driven. I have goals. I want to make shit happen. Here’s the thing, though. Sometimes the more we chase after something, the further away it becomes. The next big job, the next city to live in, the next partner to commit to…. Whatever your idea of what’s next is, forget it. Take a moment (literally, right now, take a moment) and look around at the life you’ve created for yourself. Realize that happiness is right here, right now. It’s not once you receive the promotion… it’s not once you fall in love… It’s not once you fit in a certain size pair of jeans... It’s not once you’re on vacation or once you’ve moved into a bigger, newer house. It’s in this moment. So appreciate it – because once you appreciate the smaller, seemingly little moments… you’ll realize those were in fact the big ones.