Bathing in Mustard and Other Random Fitness-Related Faves

Bathing in Mustard. Okay, hear me out. Maybe you body build. Maybe you CrossFit. Maybe you run long distances. Or maybe you work a corporate gig and always feel tight, stiff and achy. Shy of shelling out major bucks on massages every week, what are we supposed to do to alieviate sore muscle pain? If you've tried soaking in Epsom Salt, you've seen nothing in comparison to... you guessed it. Mustard!! I know it sounds so weird - but trust me on this. Found on Amazon or in your local Whole Foods Market, this stuff is the bom dot com (are people saying that anymore?!). Run a hot bath (as hot as you can take it), throw some of this mustard bath in and get ready to be pleasantly surprised at how amazing you'll feel afterwards. I've used this stuff for years - it's helped me through sore muscles due in part to CrossFit comps, training for my fitness comp, after triathlons, even after a long day of work. It even helps open up your sinuses and you'll notice you start sweating out impurities just sitting in the bath (may want to take a quick shower afterwards #justsayin).  

IT Band Pain. Gawdddd my IT bands are always in a constant state of torture. My monthly massages consist of me screaming bloody murder from the pain radiating out of my tight and over worked legs. Anyone else feel my pain?! (See what I did there - so punny!) For my fellow fitness enthisuiants constantly fighting IT band issues, I strongly encourage you to start incorporating some stretches post-workout. I've bookmarked this bad boy and plan to incorporate some much needed post-lifting stretches. Thanks Active.com! 
8 Yoga Poses and Stretches for Tight IT Bands

Tumeric Protein Smoothie Bowls. Switching up the beautifully delicious Acai Bowls I've been making lately, I decided to start experimenting with tumeric. I've begun incorporating it into a lot of my meals - and holy yumola. I invented this breakfast - which can literally be throw together in less than 5 minutes and can easily be taken on the go. Simply throw into a blender:

• 8 ice cubes (the more ice, the thicker it'll be!)
• 1/3 cup unsweetened Cashew Milk (I think this is way creamer and more flavorful than almond milk!)
• 1 scoop favorite protein (I love the way PEScience Snickerdoodle tastes in this - but anything will do)
• 1/2 frozen banana
• 1 teaspoon each of: cinnamon, powdered ginger and tumeric
• Blend!

If you're taking this on the go, you're done. If you're enjoying this at home, I like to pour the mixture into a bowl and top with 1 teaspoon of chia seeds and a 1 teaspoon of Cake Batter Buff Bake (because I'm obsessed and because some healthy fat is great since the bowl is virtually fat free). 

Macros for the bowl (without toppings): 171 Calories, 15 carbs, 2 fat, 25 protein, 8 sugar

I hope you give some of the three things I've been loving lately a shot. And if you do, I'd love to hear what you think!!

XO,
Jenn

*As always, all opinions are my own. I'm not being paid to endorse any products I blog about. 

I'm Alive... a New Homeowner... and 8 Weeks Out

It's been awhile, I'd say! 

As life has seriously picked up steam lately blogging just seemed like such a daunting task. Where do I begin?! There's just so much going on - most days I feel like I'm doing all I can to keep my head above water. 

As mentioned in my previous post, I did buy a house. And as of last weekend, I sold my condo! It's been a long, quasi exhausting process trying to buy a fixer upper, work with a contractor on renovations all the while stressing out about selling my condo. And in an interesting turn of events, I ended up selling my house nearly fully furnished! While the buyer was the one who initiated the deal, I must say I'm somewhat relieved I don't have to deal with a huge move - AND - I'm pretty excited to buy some new furniture. In fact, thanks for a dining room sale from World Market, I just purchased my very first big girl dining room table! Hello Holidays :) 

The thought of getting friends and family together around a big table to eat, drink and be merry puts a HUGE smile on my face. I ended up ordering the Arcadia Extension Table which was on sale from $700 to $500. Considering it seats up to 12 people, it's a great deal! Here is a picture of the large, rectangular wood table. I love the thick pillars and the fact that I can keep it closed, or open it to its full length for holiday dinners!

To lighten things up since the table is quite dark, I purchased Ecru Evelyn Upholstered Chairs to go along the sides, and am currently waiting on some Winged back chairs for the heads of the table. 

I never thought I'd be the owner of a 1960's ranch home - I've always been a fan of new construction. BUT after starting my house hunt and realizing I was going to either sacrifice location or home age, I decided to stick with the location I wanted and buy an older home. I've actually had fun (albeit stressful fun) picking out flooring, counter tops, cabinets, tile and such. I have a LONG list of projects I want to tackle - and given the fact that I am NOT handy myself, I'm slightly overwhelmed at the idea of tackling everything but I know Rome wasn't built in a day, and there is plenty of time to make it my own. Buying a single family home has been on my mind constantly for the past 4 years... and after long enough of saying "I"ll buy a house once I meet someone," I'm relieved I finally had the courage to just go for it. I'm trusting in g-d's plan for my life - and while I still of course hope it involves meeting an amazing man and building a life together - I'm no longer depriving myself of a large life goal. 

And speaking of... I am trying to train my mind, similarly to how I train my body, and take matters of the heart slowly for a change. Single since February, I've spent a good amount of time reflecting on past relationships - what worked, what didn't, what I liked about myself, and what I needed to work on. Time and time again I realized I jump head first into someone. I let attraction and passion take over and by date 3 I'm in a full blown, talking constantly, texting hourly, relationship with no substance. Truth is, chemistry is fairly easy to find. You can spot tons of people you find attractive. You can go for dinner, share a bottle of wine, overtly flirt, and jump into something without taking the time to decide whether or not you even like the person - or know them for that matter!! So this time around, I'm doing things differently. Abstaining from alcohol while on prep has helped, as my inhibitions aren't lowered and dates aren't centered around drinking. And while I did "swear off dating" to a certain extent earlier this summer to focus on my competition and myself, great things do happen unexpectedly. And for a change, I'm going to keep this one close to the chest -  but I will say someone has come into my life that has raised the bar and changed the way I want to approach a relationship. I'm giving it time to develop and space to evolve, because for the first time in a very long time, I honestly believe it's worth it :)

And, for an update on competition prep. Well folks - I'm 8 weeks out! Sometimes I can't believe I only have 8 weeks left, and other days I can't believe I STILL have 8 weeks!! It's been a LONG journey.... and I can't lie and say it's been easy. I miss eating without weighing my food. I miss treating myself to Twizzlers or a burger "just because." I miss being social and having cocktails with friends. With all that being said, this is hands down the most confident and proud I've been of this body of mine. I feel physically strong and sexy - my clothes no longer fit and I catch glances of muscles I never knew I had. While I'm still nervous my abs won't come in time for my show, I've worked my ass off (literally) and I think the progress is showing. I really couldn't imagine doing this without the guidance and support of my coaches Steve and Rachel, along with the encouragement and support from my fellow competitors. The girls are so sweet - I'm lucky we all lift each other up and constantly offer support. If anyone has ever thought of competing, or simply getting in the best shape of their life, I'd seriously recommend working with House of Payne. They're incredible (and I'm not just saying that because Coach Steve told me to leave the gym and have a cookie the other day!!). They make me feel like they genuinely care about me - in and out of the gym. Monday was such a tough day for me emotionally, I actually got in the car and drove 40 minutes just to see them face to face and get a hug!

I haven't been the best with posting progress pictures, so here are two from this week. I think leaning out overall has been the biggest change. 

As always, thanks for supporting me through this journey. As my workouts get longer and diet gets tougher, it means SO much to me receiving words of encouragement. Yesterday I received a super sweet and special gift from a dear friend. She took the time to write encouraging notes on a stack of post-its for me to stick on my plastic tupperware containers. This morning the words of encouragement put a smile on my face as I left for the gym at 6 am :) So to Erin and all of the other amazing friends I am so blessed to have in my life- I appreciate and love you all.

XO,

Jenn

NPC Contest Prep - 11 Week Recap, 15 to Go!

Well hello there! Let's go ahead and start things off with some stats:

Current body fat:15.5% (I was nearly 26% this time last year!!)

Goal body fat (by 11/7/15): Somewhere around 12-13%

Bust: 32 inches (down from 33)

Waist: 25 inches (down from 27.5)

Hips: 33 inches (down from 36.5)

Some recent PRs worth noting: 115lb back squat/320 leg press/65lb preacher curls

Yay to getting stronger and leaner!!


My leg workout today:
4x12, no supersets:

• squats - bar, medium stance
• inverted leg presses - wide stance
• squats - bar, close stance
• hamstring curls - seated, two legs
• squats - bar, wide stance
• straight leg deadlits - dumb bell, single leg
• 15 minutes stairmill. Don't hold on!!

In an effort to shake things up, let's try a different format. Here are some highs and lows of my training last week:

Highs

• Training with Coach Steve on Tuesday. He pushed me harder than I would have ever pushed myself on bis and shoulders. When I started curling the 55lb bar for 12 reps, I literally caught myself mustering "I can't..." and stopped myself. He retorted "Yes you can" - and guess what?! He was right. I could. And I did. If there is one piece of advice I can give ANYONE - regardless of where you are on your fitness journey it is: ELIMINATE SELF DOUBT. Don't you dare say "I can't" - because chances are, you can. Our bodies are so strong. We are so capable. Push yourself. Challenge yourself. You'll be amazed. I promise.
• Putting on a suit and getting on stage. The same day Steve and I worked out, I put on a suit that I haven't had the courage to wear in years (literally). And guess what?! It was too big! More than that, standing on stage under those spotlights, I finally felt fairly confident. I definitely have work to do, as you'll see from this shot. Where is my neck?! Posing needs to be refined and of course I will need to lean out before the show (no makeup, filters or photoshop in the photo below so don't judge!) - but all in all, I feel great. He even mentioned signing me up for another show earlier than Music City Muscle, depending on my progress over the next few weeks. 
  
• Finding out I may be featured on Bodybuilding.com under their female transformation stories. Y'all wouldn't believe my "before" bikini pictures. Holy skinny fat. More to come on this in the next few weeks...
• Discovering FuelUp. This is so clutch, especially considering I have a work trip coming up in two weeks. Meals custom made based on your macros and dietary restrictions. Love!
• Planning my December vacation! I'm getting SO excited to get away. 
• Getting back into hot yoga. I took a 90 minute class on Sunday and it felt UH-MAZING to stretch out my chronically sore muscles. 

Lows

• My cheat meal from hell. I used to love Antico - the best pizza in Atlanta, in my opinion. Well, Saturday I took advantage of a cheat meal and ate a few slices of their veggie pizza followed by a super small cup of coffee gelato. It all tasted SO good going down. In fact, I'm pretty sure I moaned my way through most of it. HOWEVER - I was literally up all night, staring back at my dinner in the toilet (sorry if that was TMI). I couldn't believe I was up hurling so violently. Sunday morning I woke up and text my coaches asking what I could do to ease my poor tummy. And just like that, they took my cheats away. I think my body is so used to clean eats now that grease and dairy just aren't digesting well. It's amazing what 11 weeks of clean eating can do to our digestive systems. Anytime I crave pizza or ice cream, I'll reply Saturday evening and reach for the chicken and veggies, thank you very much.
• My progress pictures today. I sent them in to Steve this morning and felt a bit down after looking at them. I'm definitely retaining water (yay PMS!) - and I just still struggle with seeing progress in my lower abs and hips, although my measurements above don't lie. What gets me through difficult moments is hearing him tell me "slow and steady wins the race here." And he's right. People don't fall out of shape in a day, nor do we get in shape in a day. It's an evolution and a process of being consistent and determined. Chin up buttercup :)

Something fun to try: I've started a new nightly routine of practicing gratitude! Life can get hectic and we can easily lose sight of the positive things that transpire throughout the day. Each night before bed, I now write down 3 things I'm grateful for and 3 good things that happened that day. It sort of helps keep me in a positive place - and ensures I close my eyes at the end of each day with a smile on my face. Try it!

XO,

Jenn

Week 7 of NPC Bikini Prep!

Workouts
Hammies and calves ON FLEEK (that's what the kids are saying these days, right!?) Oh man did it feel amazing to slip on a pair of Loubs this past weekend and see my calves popping! Coach Steve has me training them practically everyday, and it BURNS! Nice to see the hard work paying off. And speaking of hard work, my hammies are finally starting to show definition which is awesome. I've always had defined and developed quads, but hammies never showed striations like they are now. Yay! My workouts are continuing to kick my ass, especially Saturday's long plyo workouts. 
Here's what last Saturday's workout consisted of:
4x20 

1. walking lunges - body weight
2. reverse walking lunges - body weight
3. step ups from floor - body weight, all on one leg then the other
4. skaters
5. squat and deadlift in one - with 45lb bar 
6. monster walks with resistance band

Hi Veins!

It doesn't seem that bad... until you try it! No breaks, no sitting around texting on your phone - just get in that gym and HUSTLE. And that's after a whole week of lifting heavy. Try it and thank me later ;) 

As today marks 7 weeks into prep, with 19 more to go, I'm feeling encouraged with how much body fat I'm dropping week over week, and the proof is in the pudding. Walking Lucy around the neighborhood last night, I couldn't help but notice the vascularity - I hadn't even worked out yesterday! Posing practice this week was awesome. I met some new competitors, saw some friendly faces, and swapped numbers with a bunch of my fellow competitors. It's SO nice to be around girls and guys that just get it. I'm also feeling much more comfortable up there - which has translated into a more relaxed, fun loving stage presence. Practice will make (close enough to) perfect!

Nutrition
Saturday was time for another cheat meal! I indulged in fro yo before dinner (don't judge) followed by sushi at Tomo (some sashimi, half a roll wrapped in cucumber and another standard roll) along with half a small bottle of sake followed by 2 glasses of Malbec at a bar here in Atlanta. It all felt good going down, but I woke up Sunday with such a hangover!! 3 drinks and my body was killing me. I woke up sweating in the middle of the night, with dry mouth and a headache the next day. Crazy considering I remember the days when I'd have twice as much to drink with girlfriends with no side effects. I guess eating this clean and generally abstaining from alcohol has gotten my body to a place where it doesn't tolerate it very well. I think next cheat meal I'll stick to one glass of vino (if at all) and call it a day. It honestly didn't even taste that great going down... could be a reflection on the quality of wine, or the company in which it was consumed with. Just sayin ;)

Mental State
I will say the lifestyle is getting much more comfortable each week. This past Friday I taught an awesome barre crawl class for Lululemon and even when they rolled in the Zoe's buffet afterwards, complete with their yummy cookies, I was perfectly content munching away on my ground turkey, quinoa and broccoli. We all went to a pub afterwards and again, I was happy as a clam sipping on my water! I no longer look at food or drinks and wish I could have them. Probably because in reality, I could. I mean no one is holding a gun to my head through this prep (even if my Coach likes to believe he is! HA!). This is my choice. And the further along I go, the more I realize this journey is 100% mental and emotional. My body changing is simply the by-product. Yesterday's post was a very raw one for me - and if you read it, you'll see I've held nothing back. This blog has been so therapeutic in allowing me to lay it all out, and I'm just so blessed and grateful so many of you take time out of your busy lives to read it! I truly feel grateful for this competition prep - I feel like I have a handle on life now that I'm not worrying about feeling bloated, spending Sundays regretting the poor food/drink choices I made over the weekend, and continuously cycling through feelings of indulgence and then guilt. I feel so comfortable in my skin now - and I'm realizing that I am stronger than I ever imagined. I'm training my body in the gym to become stronger every day and I'm training my mind each day to see the best in every one and every situation. I'm praying daily for strength, giving love without excepting anything in return, and choosing to be happy at every opportunity I get. 

"Life is short. Break the rules. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile." - Mark Twain

XO,
Jenn

Lately I've Been...

Happy Hump Day! We're halfway to the weekend :) The other day I saw a post on one of my favorite blogs, Carrots N Cake, and Tina shared some random insights from everyday life, and I thought I'd lighten to mood over here and share some of my musings as of late. Enjoy!

Lately I’ve Been…

Making: Trader Joe's Organic Carrots of Many Colors.  I love these things! I just peel em, cut em up into bite-sized pieces, season with a bit of pepper, crushed red pepper and paprika. Roast at 400 until they slightly caramelize and you're done! They taste great and I enjoy the fun color it adds to my plate!
Cooking: Protein! Mrs. Dash has become a staple in my kitchen to jazz up huge batches of boneless, skinless chicken breast, ground turkey breast and eggs (I still can't jump on the Tilapia train - gross!). 
Drinking: Water. And black coffee. I really miss the taste of my coffee creamer... but I just suck it up and drink it black. I've noticed buying better quality coffee distracts me from the fact that I have to drink it plain.
Wasting: Time looking at menus of all my favorite restaurants and planning cheat meals. Ha, that's slightly embarrassing to admit, but I always keep it 100% with you guys!
Reading: Gods of Guilt by Michael Connelly. It's my book club's July selection and is written by the same author as The Lincoln Lawyer. Really great read so far!
Wanting: Twizzlers. Weird craving, but I want them. In. My. Belly.
Looking: Up bloggers who write about their fitness competition experiences. I enjoy reading other first-timers recap their stories! Takes a bit of the uncertainty out of it and calms any jitters I have about show day.
Playing: Ed Sheeran on Spotify. All. Day. Long. He's amazing! 
Wishing: I could see my girlfriends a bit more. Everyone has careers, personal lives and obligations. And being the only sober person at the bar gets old quick. When I went out last Saturday I had to run home at midnight, cook and eat my last meal and hit the hay to teach two Sunday morning barre classes. Deuces, social life! 
Enjoying: Odd Mom Out. It's rare a show makes me laugh out loud and this one does the job. 
Waiting: To take a vacation. Normally I travel once or twice a month somewhere fun, but with competition prep I have been somewhat locked down due to it being a straight pain in the arse packing all my food, supplements, finding a gym, etc. I'm thinking a trip to Napa in November sounds amazing :) 
Liking: My daily morning phone calls with these two amazing ladies. It's become sort of a tradition - and I love leaving the gym each morning and catching up with them. Having such a strong mom and sister to lean on lightens up my whole day :) We are the strongest tripod - always supporting and loving each other - the darkest and brightest of times.

Wondering: What I'm going to look like at my show. I've seen such changes in just 6 weeks - I really can't imagine what my body will look like in another 20ish weeks.
Loving: My support system. I really feel so blessed to have such incredible friends and family around supporting me (with my competition and beyond).  
Hoping: I get to see my family soon. It's been a few months and I need my fix!

Needing: A cleaning lady. My two bedroom condo isn't very large, but between being home a lot more and all the cooking/meal prepping, I feel like it's in a constant state of disarray. I try and pick up after myself but there is pretty much a gym bag and laundry baskets full of gym clothes everywhere, at all times. 
Wearing: Lululemon Speed Shorts. These little guys are perfect considering how hot and humid Atlanta is lately. I can move easily in them - and I have them in a ton of fun colors. I've also been channeling my Queens, NY roots and rockin Nike's Dunk Sky Hi Essential in pink and lovin' em. I wear em around town and to/from the barre studio. They make me walk with a little extra swagger ;) And these socks. If you haven't heard of Bombas, check them out. Great cause and by far the most comfortable socks on the planet. 
Following: Makeup tutorial accounts on Instagram. I recently bought a contouring kit and have become slightly obsessed with mastering the skill... amazing what a little highlighter and bronzer can do! Considering I spend 99.9% of my time in workout clothes, feels good to get fancied up sometimes.
Noticing: I am becoming increasingly content in my own skin. I'm sure a good amount can be attributed to getting in competition-ready shape, but overall I just feel good. I know where I stand with my relationships and work. I enjoy relaxing alone on the couch instead of frantically trying to make plans and stay busy. Just feels good to take a breath and appreciate the page I'm on in this book of life. 
Knowing: What I want. And refusing to settle for less. 

Thinking: I should foam roll more often. 
Feeling: Strong, happy, and content. Looking around at the current state of life, I'm feeling so comfortable witTurning a year older definitely makes you look at your life a little more closely and my life is a zillion times better than I ever imagined it to be.
Bookmarking: New and healthy recipes on Bodybuilding.com. Eating the same food day in day out can get monotonous, so I like switching it up. 
Opening: My box of goodies from Skin Food, a skincare company from Korea. I've heard great things about their products and recently ordered their black sugar mask, peach sake pore serum, and peach sake bb cream with SPF20. Once I've used them long enough to formulate an opinion, I'll post a product review!

XO,
Jenn

6th Week NPC Prep + A Letter to Myself

Workouts
Booty, booty rockin everywhereeeeee!! I must say, 6 weeks in I am getting SO excited. It's hard when you look at your body every day - sometimes you don't see the evolution as clearly as others. But over the past week or so, I've really been motivated with the changes I am seeing in my body. Still crushing my workouts (never missing one and bringing the intensity!) I really can see results - especially in my glutes, hammies and abs. I have NEVER been able to get definition in my abs. Whether I was running 6 days a week, in the throws of my eating disorder, or trying to do things the healthy way, my mid-section has always been my "trouble zone." Even Coach Steve told me - sit tight, your trouble zones will come in last. I am happy to report my abs are flatter and tighter - and definition is coming thru! Couldn't be more excited. And speaking of being excited, holy tush!!! Comparing my pictures week over week, my backside is getting higher and tighter. I went out Saturday night with girlfriends and couldn't wait to throw on my short shorts. Well hello, hammies! It's really amazing what heavy deadlifts, squats, lunges, kickbacks and extensions will do. I am in awe - and loving how the hard work is finally paying off! My triceps are still weak (skull crushers are impossibly hard - why?!) and upper body is continuing to be my least favorite to train, but I'm hitting shoulders and bis per Steve's orders and slowly but surely, they're coming along. Pics to come soon :)



Nutrition
For those of you who have asked, here is what my current supplementation plan looks like:

Cellucor Cor-Performance Whey and Dymatize ISO-100 (I alternate between brands to keep my taste buds guessing!)
Optimum Nutrition Glutamine - 1 scoop immediately following a lifting session 
Optimum Nutrition Pro BCAA - 1 scoop during my workouts (I drink them during barre class and while I lift)
Optimum Nutrition ZMA - 2 capsules at bedtime

ZMA - a supplement comprised of Zinc, Magnesium and B6 assists athletes with enhancing muscle recovery, boosting muscle size and strength and potentially aiding in fat loss and has been my saving grace lately. You can read more about the supplement and its benefits here. The first week of prep I was sleeping like a boss, but that was short lived. After week 2, I began waking up around 3-4 am every night, unable to fall back asleep! Now I take 2 ZMA pills before bedtime and sleep like a baby, waking up feeling well rested with tons of energy. With training 90 minutes a day and teaching my barre classes, not sleeping is NOT an option. I was nervous if I didn't find a "natural" remedy, I would have to go to see my physician, but thankfully they do the trick! 

Favorite Meals: 

Yummy pancake con cafe!

Breakfast: 1/3 cup oats mixed with 2/3 cup egg whites cooked up like a pancake. Mix a little whey and water for a chocolate "drizzle" and top with 1/2 cup fruit (mashed banana or cherries are my fave lately!). 
Mid-morning snack: 3 oz plain non-fat Greek yogurt topped with 1/2 cup fresh pitted cherries (I look like I've committed mass murder when I'm done, but oh so worth it!) and 1 oz raw almonds. Yummy in my tummy.
Lunch: Eh, anything goes. I usually keep it simple. 3 oz ground turkey, 4 oz sweet potato "fries" and 3/4 cup whichever veggie I have readily available. Some days I cook up sugar snap peas (my favorite) and on particularly lazy days, I cut a cucumber in half and just munch on that (a sight to be seen, really!). 

Fajitas!

Mid-afternoon snack: 3 oz chicken with 2 oz avocado and 3/4 cup whatever veggie I'm craving (sometimes I skip the veggie entirely - a girl can only eat so much!)

Dinner: Chicken, grilled onions and peppers rolled in butter lettuce (Hello, fajitas!) alongside sweet potato "fries".
Pre-Bed Meal: Hands down my favorite of the day. 1 scoop Whey protein combined with water, ice and 1/2 frozen banana. I lay on the couch with the shake and my kindle, and Lucy curled up by my side. Life is good! 


Cravings: In anticipation for an upcoming cheat meal, I am craving fro-yo and Twizzlers! And sushi :)



Mental State
I'm happy to report, things are great! There are days when my body feels tired, or I don't feel so strong in the gym, but the moments are short-lived and I'm able to keep pushing through. I think seeing the changes in my body is really what helps drive me. I also love spending my Saturday afternoons at posing practice - there is something really comforting about being up on stage with my fellow competitors, talking about our struggles, laughing as we pose near-naked on a stage in a busy gym... it's just nice chatting with other guys and girls living the same lifestyle as me. Dating during prep is so oddly challenging. It's really interesting just how much dating is centered around dinners and drinks. Honestly though, I am so focused on my career, training, teaching, keeping my diet tight and spending quality time with Lucy and friends, that dating isn't top of mind at this stage in the game. I've done a lot of thinking lately - about what I want and the type of person I want it with... and I've been trying to read a bit more, pray a bit more. Recently I came across this quote that sums up my mental state right now: "At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening." If you would've asked me a year ago where I'd be today, I would have said picking out monogrammed sheet sets. But here I am. And that's okay! I am completely content waiting for what I deserve, and refusing to settle for less. I've started to compare my love life to reading a new book. Sometimes you read the first few pages and think "Oh crap, this sucks!" and want to drop the book like a hot potato. But you have to read through it to understand the next few chapters and ultimately, the story in its entirety. I'm trying not to look back, nor am I trying to skip any pages. I'm taking it one page at a time, just believing and having faith that tomorrow could be even more beautiful than I ever imagined. 

A Letter to Myself
I recently came across a note I wrote to myself the night before I started competition prep. Thought it was too good not to share - and applies to us all as we embark on various journeys through life. I hope if you're going through any sort of challenge, this letter invigorates you and gives you the motivation you need to keep on truckin!

"It's going to be hard. Keep going, remembering why you started. It's hard to wake up uncomfortable every day stuck in a body you're not completely satisfied with. It's hard to prep your meals, say no to happy hour and pack your food. Choose your hard. Stay focused. Stay determined. You can do anything, sweet girl!

Remember the morning you found out Grandma suddenly passed away? What about the day you realized you wanted to end your marriage? The day you lost sweet Tiffany. You never knew how you'd dig yourself out of the grief. And yet here you are, standing tall. You made it through to the other side. You have your happy back! This experience is teaching you that you can do any damn thing you set your mind to. Be soft, yet strong. Let yourself be open to whatever and whomever life sends your way. Let your past make you better, never bitter."

XO,
Jenn

2015 Bucket List - Better Get Crackin!!

Today I stumbled upon a list I created the first week of January – a whole slew of things I wanted to accomplish in 2015. Thankfully, quite a few of these bad boys can be checked off, but boy – I still have a ways to go!! Good thing the year is just about halfway over. Time to make some memories!

What about you? Do you create lists of must-dos? If so, have I missed any good ones?

Stay tuned as I work my way through all SIXTY-FIVE!!

1.      Change someone's life for the better

2.      Champagne picnic in the park

3.      Change my hair cut/color

4.      Clean out cloa

5.      Dine by candlelight only

6.      Do something outside my normal comfort zone

7.      Donate to charity

8.      Email a friend I haven't heard from in a while

9.      Find an interesting ancestor (genealogy)

10.  Floss more

11.  Forgive myself

12.  Get a good tan

13.  Get lost in a great book

14.  Go camping

15.  Take a dance class

16.  Go ice skating

17.  Go jet skiing

18.  Go on a no budget spending spree

19.  Go on a spa vacation

20.  Go on vacation by myself

21.  Go on a romantic vacation

22.  Go skinny dipping

23.  Go to hot yoga

24.  Go to a concert

25.  Go to a jazz club

26.  Go to a restaurant I haven’t been to

27.  Go to a professional golf tournament

28.  Have a girls weekend away

29.  Have a golf lesson

30.  Have a pajama party

31.  Have a spa day with friends

32.  Help build a habitat for humanity house

33.  Host a dinner party

34.  Jump in a pool fully clothed

35.  Kiss in the rain

36.  Learn how to fix something myself in the house

37.  Learn my blood type

38.  Make a new friend

39.  Make my parents proud

40.  Learn to meditate

41.  Movie night with friends

42.  Not work for 7 days straight

43.  Read a chick lit book and not feel guilty

44.  Redecorate a room

45.  Run another 15k

46.  See a long-lost friend 

47.  See my parents more often

48.  Start a journal / blog

49.  Stay in PJs all day

50.  Stay up all night 

51.  Sunbathe topless

52.  Swim in a natural hot spring

53.  Take a cooking class

54.  Take PTO, just because

55.  Take a risk: When my head says don't do something, do it anyway

56.  Take a spontaneous roadtrip

57.  Take a wine tasting class

58.  Throw a dart at a map and go where it lands

59.  Visit a Buddhist temple

60.  Volunteer

61.  Run for cancer

62.  Watch planes land from a hood of a car

63.  Watch the sun set into the ocean

64.  Watch the sunrise 

65.  Write a handwritten love letter