The Transformations We Cannot See

#TransformationTuesday #fitspo #progress

Show of virtual hands {honor system here, clearly I can't see you!} - how many of you have seen those hashtags on social media? Usually accompanying them are photos of someone {likely in their underwear} posting a side by side comparison of their “before” and after bodies. The before I started some diet, some detox tea, some competition prep, or some {enter magical solution here}.

As someone who wholeheartedly believes in the importance of living a fit, balanced and active life I am all for someone’s commitment to getting healthier and becoming more active. But I can’t help but wonder since when did we begin placing such a disproportionate emphasis on the physical transformation while completely disregarding the blood, sweat and tears that goes into {or SHOULD go into} our emotional and mental transformations?

After seeing yet another girl posting side by side comparisons of her near-naked body along with a caption detailing how she's still struggling to appreciate what she sees in the mirror, it got me wondering...

What if we trained our minds the way we train our bodies?

I recently began attending a weekly meditation course with girlfriends and I've thoroughly enjoyed listening to wonderful nuggets of wisdom. Personally speaking, I feel the last 5 years have been a remarkable transformation for me - inside and out. And while I do my best to take pause and appreciate how far I've come, I never want to settle for "almost there." This course has imparted tons of knowledge, but the top two pieces of wisdom I've been anxious to share with you all are as follows:

1) Happiness comes from within - and the inverse is true as well. Unhappiness also comes from within. Think about it - the promotion you don't get, the coworker who seems to always be making your life unnecessarily difficult - none of them can make you unhappy. It's how you perceive those situations that impact your happiness (or lack thereof).

2) Don't run from difficult people. Listen, I get it. We all have people in our lives who bring us down. They're negative and complain the entire time you're with them. The weather sucks, the election is a mess, their jobs stink, their relationship is falling apart. Instead of rolling your eyes and staring at the clock wondering when its time to spring the door, allow their negativity to teach you a lesson in compassion and tolerance.

So the next time work is grating on your nerves and you're thinking "WHY me?" or you're sitting across the dinner table from a friend who just drones on and on about how awful everything is, I hope you take a moment to determine what the current moment is trying to teach you. What can you learn from less than ideal situations? Every moment is brought to us as a lesson. It's simply our responsibility to learn from it.

XO,
Jenn

Let Go of the Oars

Let go of the oars. 

The quote originates from New York Times best-selling author Esther Hicks and for those of you who haven’t heard of her, Hicks’ teachings were the original inspiration for “The Secret” and she’s noted as contributing to a global paradigm shift in consciousness.

Have you ever thought that perhaps everything you want is downstream, not upstream like we assume it to be? In America, particularly those of us working in Corporate America, we are programmed to work hard and rest less. When the going gets tough and life fails to live up to our expectations, we paddle harder and faster. We assume if we try harder, everything will be resolved and our goals can be achieved.

Here’s why I struggle with this philosophy. Life isn’t meant to be hard. We shouldn’t have to constantly be struggling. I like to believe that while it’s never perfect, life is intended to be calm and enjoyable. I wonder – what if we let go of the oars?

Once we do, the boat (our life) will likely turn itself around and allow the current to carry us downstream.

It has taken me years to comprehend the concept that sometimes we need to surrender, relinquish control and just let-go of our beliefs on when or how things should happen in life.

I can recall plenty of hard times when I found myself yelling (to no one in particular) WHY. Why me? Why is this happening? Why am I experiencing such pain. The greatest disappointments come when we cling stubbornly to the ideas of what our lives should look like.

These are the moments when it’s so important that we let go of the oars and let our boat take us downstream.

Stop fighting the current, stop exhausting yourself paddling upstream.

Let it go. Breathe. Have faith. There is a plan for you. Everything will be okay in the end. And if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

XO,

Jenn 

I Am Who I Am, Because You Were You

It's often you hear people say, "I'm working on who I am," but how often do you hear someone say "I'm working to understand WHY I am the way I am?"

With 32 years of life under my belt, I finally feel as though I have a good grasp on WHO I am. I'm a daughter to two wonderful human beings. I'm a giving and attentive girlfriend to a wonderful man. I'm a friend to some really freakin amazing women. I'm a mommy to the cutest fur baby in the entire world (though I may be biased!). I love the feeling of a workout that makes me want to pass out (maybe I'm a bit of a masochist as well?!). I'm career-minded and driven as hell. I've built walls thanks to some painful past experiences. Despite those times, I have a resilient and loving heart. I can be fiercely independent (sometimes out of necessity rather than choice) and I strive for greatness in all aspects of life. 

But the real question is - WHY am I the way I am?

I've given a lot of consideration to this lately. And I think I may know the answer. A little background...

Growing up, I was extremely close to my maternal Grandmother. Lillian - a spitfire redhead (whom my Grandfather so kindly nicknamed "Red" even though she hated it...), raised on the Lower East Side of Manhattan was quite possibly one of the most remarkable women I've ever know (tied with my own Mom, naturally). I truly could go on and on about all the reasons we all loved her so - but for the sake of brevity, I'll say that I believe a majority of why I am the way I am, is because of her. 

As I was approaching college graduation, my Grandma (Grammy as I loved to call her) asked me what I wanted. Most of my friends were asking for money, new cars, wardrobes for their new careers, a place to live if said career didn't pan out... but not me. 

I asked for letters.

"Write me letters, Grammy."

"About what, Madela?"

"Everything. Write to me about growing up. Write to me about your love story with Poppy. Write to me about how you felt when Mommy was born. When I was born. Write to me about how it felt to lose Poppy after more than 50 years. Just write to me."

And write, she did. 

It was just this week that I decided to take down my memory box I store all things of sentimental value - and pulled out the one and only letter my Grammy wrote to me. 

After reading it, I have no doubts about WHY I am the way I am. I am me, because she was she. 

"My little Jenny asked me to write. So here I shall. 

Born in the early 1900's on the Lower East Side in Manhattan, NY. My parents were immigrants, my mother came from Russia and my father came from Lithuania. I remember living in a tenement house where the toilet was in the hall. We had electricity but we also had a coal stove to cook on.

My father died when I was very young, 12 years of age and my mother though she had no skills did not go to work, as she was not a citizen of the USA and could not read, so she depended on her brothers to support her.

We moved to Brooklyn when I was 13 years old and decided then that I was going to excel in my schoolwork. My favorite subject was math and then I decided to become a bookkeeper. I married young, but because of Pearl Harbor my husband was drafted into The Army. I took a position working at the NY Port of Embarkation for the US Army. 

After the war and having 3 children to raise, I decided to make something of myself. When my youngest was 12 I went back to work and together with my husband we started saving money and built up our nest egg. I believed working was good for ones mind and self respect.

My motto is to be accomplished even in old age. Keep the mind going, don't become lackadaisical. Give a good appearance of one's self, be friendly and make a living based upon accomplishments. At present, though I am in my late 70s, I am still active as Editor and Vice President of my temple's newsletter. I am respected, acknowledged by the congregants and am happy that in my latter years, I keep myself active and enjoy my family and friends. I am a grandmother of 7 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren." 

 I hope reading this inspires you to find out why you are the way you are, and I hope your journey is also full of love and wonderful memories.

XO,
Jenn

A Girls Trip to Austin, Bathroom Reno and Life Lately

Is it really mid-April already? WHERE is the year going??

I recently returned from a girls weekend to Austin - that city has been on my list for awhile and I'm so thrilled I finally made it! So speaking of trips with friends... HOW much of a buzzkill is it when you take a trip with friends and realize you're completely incompatible travel buddies?! Maybe you like to get up early and explore and your friends are night owls. Maybe you don't love being out all night drinking and they do. Whatever the differences are, I feel like it's rare to take a trip and just hit it off 24/7. Thankfully - this was one of those trips :) While I didn't get in any gym workouts, I did pack my resistance bands and do a mini-workout one morning while the girls got ready. I tried to go for a run, but after taking 5 steps out the front door it started to rain. Fine. Twist my arm into enjoying some tasty meals and a few libations. FINE! I was just SO grateful to be away for a few days, getting to know these ladies even better over tons of laughs, a few cocktails, and plenty of good eats.

Speaking of tasty meals - if you live in Austin or happen to find yourself there - do yourself a favor and check out Elizabeth' Street Cafe. Literally the BEST bahn mi I've ever had.  While not pictured, trust that it was amazing. Egg whites and mushrooms in a crusty baguette with diakon radish, carrots and topped with sambal (spicy chili sauce). The lump crab rice paper wraps pictures below were super delish. 

Another fun spot worth checking out is Cafe NoSe at the South Congress Hotel. While I realize it's not necessary for food to be "pretty" - let's just admire how beautiful that piece of lox and hardboiled egg toast is!! It had the perfect combo of salty (from the lox and a few capers) and sweet (check out that thinly sliced apple!). Such a neat spot for brunch (they made a mean Americano) with friends.

Lump crab rice paper wraps with yummy dipping sauces!

So pretty AND tasty!

While we're on the subject of food - I have been LOVING getting back into cooking. It's been fun testing out new, healthy recipes and not stressing because all I can eat is plain, flavorless food. Don't get me wrong - while I'm home I am still pretty cognizant about what I'm eating. I still measure everything to ensure my portions are on point and I still don't cook with any oils or butters - but I'm having FUN again. And after the roller coaster of comp prep and life after the show, it feels really nice.

Arugula, cherry tomatoes, quiona and soft-boiled egg!

Old-fashioned oats blended with egg whites!

I've been testing out tons of recipes and techniques (I've never tried poaching my own eggs for a protein packed salad topper and boy I'm glad I did!) and purchasing new "foods" (including the PB2 powder I mixed with water to top my oat/egg white pancake you see above). I've been loving tons of new finds thanks to the new Sprouts that opened near the house. That reminds me I'm long overdue for another "What's in my cart" post!

As if life hasn't been busy enough, I decided to renovate my master bath. Considering the house is from the 1970s, my bathroom is teeny tiny. Despite wishing it was larger, it has been fun picking out all of the finishes and re-conceptualizing the space- including a dark tile floor that happens to look like wood, black pebble for the shower floor (HELLO free foot massage!) and a beautiful marble herringbone for the shower walls.

From this....

BYE BYE Bathtub!

New shower! Note: manly hand is in fact my contractors - not mine :)

Herringbone shower in the making!

I'm super excited to see how the bathroom turns out. Last fall I renovated the rest of the house,  but funds ran low - so this project has been awhile in the making. I'll be sure to post some new progress pics as things come along. My new vanity should be arriving soon, bead board will be going up, and some new chrome fixtures will be installed in the next week or so!

And since this post seems to be photo bonanza, why not include a recent shot - Just me. Having fun whipping up tasty and healthy meals, hitting 5 intense workouts a week, and working to enjoy the little moments in life a bit more and worry about the future a little less :)

Happy Monday - hope yours was productive and eventful, too!

XO,
Jenn

4 Ways I Make Health and Fitness Part of My Every Day Life

Have a buddy. Having a friend meet you at the gym or check out a new spin class is a really great way to keep yourself accountable AND have fun. You share the experience (what’s that saying about misery loving company?! Ha!) AND if time permits, you can enjoy catching up over coffee, lunch, shopping, or a cocktail (not every time, but nothing wrong with a weekend mimosa here and there!). This past Saturday I met a girlfriend for spin and afterwards we hit a local Mexican spot and sipped a tequila on ice, ate a salad and went shopping afterwards. We got in a great workout AND spent time together. Working out with a friend will no doubt push you harder and even broaden your horizons and make you try a movement or class you wouldn’t have otherwise. So go – call a close friend and make a workout date!!

Switch it up. I’m grateful to live in a large city like Atlanta, where ClassPass has more fitness-related classes to take then you could possibly imagine. Within the last 7 days I’ve taken a few Pilates reformer classes, a 90 minute hot yoga class, some intense spin classes, crossfit-style bootcamp, and a yoga class focused on hip and hamstring flexibility. It’s been so fun listening to my body and uncovering strengths (holy strong quads and holy flexibility – I was basically a human sweaty pretzel for the duration of my hot yoga class!) and also realizing I have weaknesses (nearly puked once during spin and also came to the realization I have the hand eye coordination of a toddler). Sure, I still lift in the big box gym and won’t deny my trusty deadlifts and squats for long, but its fun having fun with fitness. You meet people along the way, you see new parts of town, and you challenge your body in ways it’s never been challenged before.

Get creative in the kitchen. Boy how I missed cooking last year. One of the best ways to take your nutrition into your own hands is to quite literally, put nutrition in your hands. Hit the farmer’s market and scour the aisles for fun, unique produce you’ve never heard of before. Spend an hour a week looking up new recipes to try. And experiment! Try a new cuisine or eat a few vegetarian meals throughout the week. Not only does it feel good to eat good, nutrient-dense food, but there’s no reason it can’t also be fun!

Listen to your body. Sometimes I’m just not feeling it. Sometimes I know my body needs rest – and now I listen to it. If you have pain beyond normal muscle soreness, listen to it. If you’re just being lazy, well, get off your ass and move J Even if it’s just a walk through the neighborhood – working out gets those endorphins flowing! There are times when I KNOW my body is craving an intense lifting session or a kick-butt kickboxing class. Other times I feel tight and stressed and know how wonderful 90 minutes of hot yoga will feel. Get in touch with your body and nourish it from the inside out!

I hope you put into practice at least one of the ways I make health and fitness fun. There are far too many ways to take care of yourself – so if what you’re currently doing isn’t fun or you feel like you’re in a rut, CHANGE. Taking this approach is more holistic and will address your overall health and fitness. Making it fun and committing to living a healthy lifestyle will make working out will feel less like a chore and more like a blessing!

XO,

Jenn

32 Life Lessons in 32 Years

Well, it’s almost that time! I cannot believe my 32^nd birthday is around the corner. Where does the time go? Considering the next few weeks will be jam packed with travel, I decided to sit down and give some thought to life lessons I’ve learned so far in my {nearly} 32 years. I posted something similar last year – if you haven’t read it yet, check it out! As always, I'd love to hear from you. Any words of wisdom you've learned in your life thus far? Let's hear it!

On Life:

1.    Whenever possible, choose kindness.

2.    Do more of what scares the shit out of you.

3.    Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want to happen. Have faith and be patient.

4.    Stop playing the victim to the circumstances of your life. You have the ability to shape the life you want – so if you don’t like where you are, do something about it.

5.    The only constant in life is change. Get good at change.

6.    Live simply. Unsubscribe from junk promotional emails. Donate the clothes you haven’t worn since college. Stop collecting things simply to have them.

7.    If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

8.    Don’t allow yourself to stumble on something already behind you.

9.    If you want something, but are overwhelmed with how long it’ll take to accomplish it – GO FOR IT. The time will pass anyway.

10. Be proud of your life. If you’re not, be courageous enough to change it.

11. Practice forgiveness. To yourself and to others. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you need to keep them in your life – but forgiveness is one of the fastest ways to inner peace.

12. The way people treat you usually speaks more to who they are then who you are.

13. There is never a “right time” and there is no sense in waiting until you’re ready. You want something? Go after it with all you have.

14. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

15. Never underestimate the power of a hand-written thank you note.

16. Abandon destination-addiction. Stop wishing for the future and start embracing today.

On Self-Love/Self-Awareness:

1.    Forgive yourself as easily as you’d forgive others.

2.    No one can “make you happy.” That’s an inside job.

3.    Invest in timeless fashions. Quality over quantity always.

4.    Believe you can do it and others will believe it, too.

5.    Get good at saying no. Martha Beck said “When it comes to saying yes or no to something or someone, choose the answer that feels like freedom." If it feels like a burden, just say no.

6.    Pretending everything is perfect does not, in fact, make everything perfect.

7.    Focus on your strengths while nurturing your weaknesses.

8.    Take pride in your appearance, but realize that NO amount of physical beauty will be as valuable as a beautiful heart.

9.    The only way to let love in is to be vulnerable. Let down your walls so love can flow freely.

10. Speak your truth – even if your voice shakes.

11. Being OPEN is just as important as being honest.

12. You can be the juiciest peach in the whole world. And there will always be someone who doesn’t care for peaches.

13. Learn to cook wholesome, healthy meals. Eat the rainbow. Savor your food.

14. Start a gratitude journal. Begin and end every day with a grateful heart.

15. Whether it’s strength training, yoga, running… find a workout regimen you love and make it a part of your daily routine.

16. Trust the timing of your life.

XO,

Jenn

What’s in My Grocery Cart? Part I

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage: Abs are Made in the Kitchen.

So what if you’re not interested in ripped abs? What if you’re looking to possibly lower your cholesterol, shed a few pounds of winter fluff, or simply feel good in the skin you're in? 

Regardless of your health and fitness goals, eating clean, nutrient dense food is critical for your overall health and well-being. Since I’ve been asked quite often what I buy and how I eat clean during the week, I thought I’d start a new series “What’s in my grocery cart?” – to give you an idea of what to buy each week to ensure you stay on track eating the critical nutrients needed to fuel yourselves for a busy work week ahead. 

So let’s get started!

Where I shop: Sprouts, Trader Joes, Whole Foods and Costco

Yes, I tend to hit almost all four on any given week. Sometimes I really go nuts and hit all four in a day! I personally like certain products at each store, although for those less picky I’m sure 1 or 2 of these would suffice.

PROTEIN

Boneless, skinless chicken breast: Organic is ideal, although sometimes I purchase chicken free or added hormones and antibiotics.

Ground Turkey Breast: Breast is key here. Ground Turkey includes dark meat and has a higher fat content.

Egg Whites: I buy enough egg whites to feed a small village. They are literally one of the best ways to get in additional protein (I mix them into my oatmeal, eat them alone, in omelets, in protein shakes, you name it!) without any added fat or sugar and minimal calories.

Non-fat plain greek yogurt: I love the Fage brand, but any will do. Just ensure it’s plain and non-fat. This can be made into sweet snacks (mix some fresh fruit and chia seeds in for an awesome pre-workout snack) or savory (mix with lime zest and fresh lime juice to replace sour cream). Tons of protein, minimal sugar and it’s fat-free. Winner winner!

Whey/Casein protein powder (Bodybuilding.com): I am quite obsessed with PEScience Peanut Butter Cup protein powder. In my shakes, in my morning oatmeal, mixed into egg whites, you name it. Low calorie, fat, carbs AND sugar… all while high in protein #winning. Whey protein is quick to digest, while casein takes quite a bit longer (leaving you fuller longer!) so a blend seems to work best for me - but there are PLENTY of proteins on the market - including plant-based and egg based, so my best advice is experiment until you find one that works best for you. 

FATS

Roasted unsalted nuts: Be sure they're unsalted otherwise you'll retain water and take in way too much sodium. Always be sure to weight or count out your portions. Unsalted nuts are good for you, but too many are not. Fat is fat. 

Buff Bake Snickerdoodle Almond Butter (I buy this online): Literally my favorite tasty treat. On toast, in oatmeal, on an apple, out of the jar with my bare hands... you catch my drift.

Avocado: Again, watch your portions here. 2 ounces of avocado is considered a nice, healthy amount.

GRAINS

Sweet potatoes: Cut into "fries" and roasted at 400 with a sprinkle of cinnamon is my favorite way to prep these bad boys.

Gluten-free oat cereal: BE SURE any cereal you purchase has less than 9g sugar

Old-fashioned oats from Costco: Again, enough to feed a small army. I cannot get enough of these!

Ezekiel bread: I loooove the cinnamon raisin English muffins and consider 1/2 to be one portion. These are hearty and thanks to a ton of various grains, will keep you full so much longer than your regular 'ol slice of bread.

FRUITS

Apples: I’m a total brat and only will eat Honeycrisp or Pink Lady. I love storing them in the fridge and keeping them nice and cold and crunchy!

Berries: Give me all.the.berries!

Bananas: I try and limit the amount of bananas I eat as they're very high in sugar and carbs, so stick to 1/2 of a large or one small as a single portion. They are great sliced with almond butter or frozen and thrown into protein shakes!

Lemons: For my water and cooking

Limes: Same as above :)

Frozen cherries: Perfect for protein shakes! Love the combo of chocolate and cherry!

VEGETABLES

Frozen riced cauliflower from Trader Joes: Great for stir frys, homemade pizza crust or as an easy substitute for rice in any dish!

Spinach: Try throwing a handful into your next protein shake. It may change the color but I promise you won't be able to taste it!

Red and Yellow Bell Peppers: Because I'm a weirdo and don't like the taste of the green ones
Fresh garlic: Makes everything taste better!
Fresh ginger root: I LOVE grating this into my food - it adds such a burst of flavor!

Snap Peas: Dip these bad boys in hummus for a tasty (and healthy) afternoon snack

English cucumbers: Because I'm too lazy to peel the waxy layer off of regular cuces! Love thinly slicing these for water or dipping in hummus. 

TIPS
Keep fresh fruits on the counter to encourage yourself to eat them! 

If you work in an office and don't have time to cook, try prepping meals in advance. Overnight pr-oats are easy and delicious - truly giving you NO reason to skip breakfast (YES - it's one of the most important meals of the day!).

Have FUN. Use romaine leaves as wraps for sandwiches and tacos. Experiment and come up with creative substitutes to your favorite meals. My blog has quite a few healthy swamps (more to come!) and when all else fails, Pinterest is a great resource!

I hope the list above was helpful! Remember that eating well is all about finding what works for YOU and your family. If you don't like asparagus, don't buy it! Eat what you enjoy and cook for those you love. Food is fuel and your body is the machine but that doesn't mean it can't be fun. If my contest prep taught me anything about nutrition, it's that elimination diets don't work for the long term. That's why a lot of us fitness competitors end up developing food allergies/intolerances (after eliminating a certain food group for long enough our bodies stop being able to process it!), we lose our menses (not eating enough healthy fat!) and we become downright miserable eating the same 5 foods over and over. Life is short - live and enjoy. Treat your body as a temple and you'll see the rewards in no time. 

I'm also excited to share with you all that I have some more nutrition-related posts coming your way - so expect to see some fun new articles about:

• 5 Diet Rules You Should Break Right Now
• How to Deal with Impossible Cravings 
• Meal Prep Made Easy
• 5 Tips for Succeeding at Your Health and Nutrition Goals!
• 7 Must-Haves for a Stocked Pantry
• How to Develop a Proper Vitamin and Supplementation Plan 

Anything new you want to see?? Other topics you're interested in? Let me know!! I want this blog to be a useful resource for you as you strive to live a balanced, active and healthy life!

XO,

Jenn

5 Ways to Create a Life You Love

1.       Consciously create your life. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says “You’ll never believe what so and so did to me” or “You’re so lucky, Jenn!” Um no. I’m not particularly lucky. I have the same 24 hours in my day. I don’t have things delivered to me on a silver platter. I work. I hustle. While I wholeheartedly recognize there are circumstances that arise in our lives beyond our control, but we ALWAYS have a choice in how we respond. We have the power to shape our day, our life, how we see fit. You don’t like where you are (physically/emotionally)? Move. You’re not a tree.

2.       Let life naturally evolve. While I certainly do believe we can manifest the life we want, I do think sometimes we have such an intense desire to want something SO badly that we ruin it before it even begins. We over-think. We imagine. We develop expectations. We worry. We doubt. As a self-confessed worry-wart, any time I feel myself worrying about any one particular topic, I remind myself that worrying is essentially like praying for what you DON’T want. Be patient. Good things take time.

3.       Choose to see the good. I don’t care how bad life feels today, there IS something good. Are you choosing to see it? Maybe work sucks. Maybe your relationship just ended. Shoot, maybe you just lost a loved one. It sucks. Your heart aches. I get it, trust me. But here is where things become critical. CHOOSE to challenge yourself in times of sadness to see at least ONE good thing surrounding you. A hug from a friend, a call from a loved one, snuggles from your pup. Whatever it is… there IS good. It’s up to you whether you consciously choose to recognize and appreciate it.

4.       Be kind to yourself. You ate too many cookies. You missed a deadline at work. You skipped the gym all weekend. I used to come down so incredibly hard on myself. I’d find myself in these negative spirals of self-talk saying things I would never dream of saying to a friend, sister, or daughter. Why shouldn’t we speak to ourselves how we’d speak to someone we love? Are we not deserving of second chances? Give yourself a break. We’re all trying our best in this crazy game called life.

5.       Stop waiting for the next best thing to bring you happiness. I’ve been very open about my struggle with “living in the moment” – it’s just never something that came naturally to me. I’m a planner. I’m driven. I have goals. I want to make shit happen. Here’s the thing, though. Sometimes the more we chase after something, the further away it becomes. The next big job, the next city to live in, the next partner to commit to…. Whatever your idea of what’s next is, forget it. Take a moment (literally, right now, take a moment) and look around at the life you’ve created for yourself. Realize that happiness is right here, right now. It’s not once you receive the promotion… it’s not once you fall in love… It’s not once you fit in a certain size pair of jeans... It’s not once you’re on vacation or once you’ve moved into a bigger, newer house. It’s in this moment. So appreciate it – because once you appreciate the smaller, seemingly little moments… you’ll realize those were in fact the big ones. 

Where OH Where Has the Time Gone?!

It's been nearly 2 months since my last blog post. Where oh where has the time gone?! I cannot believe it's 2016 already - it seems as though the holidays flew right on by. With my show on 10/31 quickly followed by a week-long trip to Mexico, hosting Thanksgiving for my family in my new home, weeks of back to back holiday parties, and Christmas/New Years celebrated in California, it seems like the last two months have been a complete blur. 

I guess the old adage is true. Time flies when you're having fun. 

I started this blog nearly one year ago - with the thought of sharing tidbits from my life. Sometimes I wrote about challenges I faced: how to live in the moment, how to be present and content without waiting for tomorrow, and how to stay in shape while traveling. I started a weekly series "The time I tried..." with the intent of pushing myself to try new things - from Orangetheory to Meditating. And then I'd blog about my experience to you all. Around May of last year I embarked upon my journey to compete in my first NPC Bikini Competition - and you all were beyond supportive. I'd post weekly updates and the encouraging words I received from all my readers moved me to tears (that may have also been extreme hunger pains, but I'll give you credit for most of it!). 

And here we are. A new year. A new start. This may be hard for me to say - being the extremely Type-A, goal-oriented individual I am... but this year, my goal is.... to have no goal.

Let me explain.

For as long as I can remember in my nearly 32 years of life, I have always had a goal. It's just the way my brain works. I like to have a metaphorical carrot dangling in front of me - to guide me, push me, and drive me towards greatness. Over the past 5 years, some of my goals have included:

• Run a 5K
• Join Crossfit
• Be able to do an un-assisted pullup
• Compete in Crossfit
• Travel to a foreign country I've never been. Alone.
• Get promoted
• Complete a triathlon
• Take up trail running
• Complete a 15k trail run with girlfriends
• Spend more time alone
• Try meditating
• Become a certified Barre instructor
• Get an actual job teaching Barre classes
• Stop worrying about what will be
• Compete in a bikini fitness competition 
• Sell my condo
• Buy a single family home

I'm proud to say, I've kicked the crap out of all the goals listed above. Made 'em all my biatch. And it feels amazing. I went to Bali, I've worked my tail off at work, I've come to realize who I am and what I want out of life, I've attacked and concquered some fitness-related goals I honestly never thought I was capable of.... and more. 

So I bet you're wondering - if goal-setting has been so wonderful for you thus far, why stop now? Well, because... I was pouring myself into so many aspects of my life to distract myself from the fact that my heart was missing its counterpart. Despite how successful I was in my career, or how flat my abs were, or how many Delta SkyMiles I racked up... something was always missing. And for the first time in my entire life, I feel whole. My cup runneth over. Career. Friends. Home. Love. Family. Personal. All cylinders are firing and I am beyond grateful. 

So this year, I am flipping the script. No goals. No black and white list of things to accomplish. Will I accomplish some great things? I sure hope so! Maybe I'll compete again. Maybe I'll get back to long distance running. Perhaps I'll keep pushing and go after that VP title that's in the not-too-distant-future. Maybe the man and I will take a new step in our relationship. I don't have a crystal ball - and I don't know what the year ahead has in store for me. And you know what? I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm MORE than okay with that. 

My plan is to have no plan. Keep living in the present moment, continue practicing gratitude, continue to better myself because that's what those who love me deserve... 

When I was unsure of myself and who I was, the unknown terrified me. Now that I finally feel at peace with myself, with my life, I am no longer afraid. I'm excited.

What I'm Thankful For This Year

As the Thanksgiving holiday quickly approaches, I've been thinking quite a bit about gratitude. I honestly cannot believe 2015 is coming to a close - it seems the older I get, the faster the years whiz on by. There have definitely been some highs and lows over the past year, so I decided to embark on a gratitude journey - appreciating all of the lessons I've learned over the past 11 months. If you haven't tried a gratitude exercise, I encourage you to do so. Studies and research show practicing gratitude improves your physical and psychological health as well as overall self-esteem and mental strength. 

So let's flip the script and cultivate gratitude this holiday season rather than succumb to complaining about holiday mall traffic, being the only single one at the family holiday dinner table, or whatever else may be weighing on you as the season quickly approaches.

2015, thank you for:

My New Home
I mean, look at this beautiful spa-like bathroom! :) 

In all seriousness, I was blessed with the ability to purchase a beautiful new home this year. One in which I was able to re-design essentially from the ground up. I had so much fun working with a skilled contractor gutting nearly 75% of my 1960s ranch-style home. Some of my favorite touches? My all-white kitchen, 7 ft island perfect for entertaining, huge dining room which will be hosting my very first Thanksgiving, a beautifully feminine bedroom complete with an adorable chandelier that hangs over my bed, nearly an acre of peaceful, private land... and the list goes on. 

Phenomenal Friends

Boy have I been blessed with amazing friends. They've supported me all year long - from coming to cheer me on at my bikini competition, to being my listening ear, letting me be the third wheel, putting up with me bringing tupperware to fancy restaurants, calling/texting/emailing/showing up at my house when I just needed support, and so much more. I feel beyond blessed to be surrounded by such strong, supportive and loving women.

A Strong Mind and Resilient Body

Competition prep was anything but easy this year. Dropping 10% body fat while putting on lean muscle mass over a short 4 months was hard. There were days - especially as my show came near - where I had barely enough energy to get out of bed. Juggling a full-time career, spending 2-3 hours a day in the gym, living on less than 1,000 calories and around 5g fat a day left me EXHAUSTED. Yet somehow, I pushed myself beyond my limits and made it to show day unscathed. I am beyond grateful for making it through without a single physical injury. Sure, I missed out on quite a few memories and my lady friend still hasn't returned, but all in all - my body and mind stayed strong and kept pushing... even when all I wanted to do was quit (which I debated daily!).

Maturity to Trust the Timing of My Life
This year, I finally stopped swimming up stream. I spent nearly the entire year single, embracing the opportunity to spend some time on myself. I taught barre, took some vacations, prepped for my first bikini competition, worked my tail off, received a promotion, sold my condo, bought and renovated a new (to me) home, nurtured relationships with friends and family and just "did me." I spent lots of time reflecting on past decisions, future desires, and worked on aspects of myself I was less than thrilled with. It's been an incredible journey - one that I am particularly proud of considering embracing singleness has always been a point of contention for me. I am beyond grateful I took the time and am so very excited to see what the future has in store for me. They say you have to be your own before you can be someone else's... and for the first time in a long time - I feel like I am the person that the person I am looking for is looking for. 

Well, friends... what are YOU thankful for??

XO,
Jenn