Bathing in Mustard and Other Random Fitness-Related Faves

Bathing in Mustard. Okay, hear me out. Maybe you body build. Maybe you CrossFit. Maybe you run long distances. Or maybe you work a corporate gig and always feel tight, stiff and achy. Shy of shelling out major bucks on massages every week, what are we supposed to do to alieviate sore muscle pain? If you've tried soaking in Epsom Salt, you've seen nothing in comparison to... you guessed it. Mustard!! I know it sounds so weird - but trust me on this. Found on Amazon or in your local Whole Foods Market, this stuff is the bom dot com (are people saying that anymore?!). Run a hot bath (as hot as you can take it), throw some of this mustard bath in and get ready to be pleasantly surprised at how amazing you'll feel afterwards. I've used this stuff for years - it's helped me through sore muscles due in part to CrossFit comps, training for my fitness comp, after triathlons, even after a long day of work. It even helps open up your sinuses and you'll notice you start sweating out impurities just sitting in the bath (may want to take a quick shower afterwards #justsayin).  

IT Band Pain. Gawdddd my IT bands are always in a constant state of torture. My monthly massages consist of me screaming bloody murder from the pain radiating out of my tight and over worked legs. Anyone else feel my pain?! (See what I did there - so punny!) For my fellow fitness enthisuiants constantly fighting IT band issues, I strongly encourage you to start incorporating some stretches post-workout. I've bookmarked this bad boy and plan to incorporate some much needed post-lifting stretches. Thanks Active.com! 
8 Yoga Poses and Stretches for Tight IT Bands

Tumeric Protein Smoothie Bowls. Switching up the beautifully delicious Acai Bowls I've been making lately, I decided to start experimenting with tumeric. I've begun incorporating it into a lot of my meals - and holy yumola. I invented this breakfast - which can literally be throw together in less than 5 minutes and can easily be taken on the go. Simply throw into a blender:

• 8 ice cubes (the more ice, the thicker it'll be!)
• 1/3 cup unsweetened Cashew Milk (I think this is way creamer and more flavorful than almond milk!)
• 1 scoop favorite protein (I love the way PEScience Snickerdoodle tastes in this - but anything will do)
• 1/2 frozen banana
• 1 teaspoon each of: cinnamon, powdered ginger and tumeric
• Blend!

If you're taking this on the go, you're done. If you're enjoying this at home, I like to pour the mixture into a bowl and top with 1 teaspoon of chia seeds and a 1 teaspoon of Cake Batter Buff Bake (because I'm obsessed and because some healthy fat is great since the bowl is virtually fat free). 

Macros for the bowl (without toppings): 171 Calories, 15 carbs, 2 fat, 25 protein, 8 sugar

I hope you give some of the three things I've been loving lately a shot. And if you do, I'd love to hear what you think!!

XO,
Jenn

*As always, all opinions are my own. I'm not being paid to endorse any products I blog about. 

Carbs are NOT the Enemy!

Confused about carbs?? It's amazing how often I hear people say they're going "low carb" or how they're scared to eat that morning bowl of oats... and I just want to scream out "Carbs are not the enemy!!!"

Now, that's not to say I'd suggest hitting your local greasy spoon for a tall stack of pancakes drenched in butter and syrup, followed up by a burger on a hot, buttery bun with a side of fries for lunch... all washed down with a bowl of Fettuccine Alfredo for dinner. All I'm saying is carbs are not the enemy. And we should stop treating them as such. 

Let's debunk some common carbs myths and discuss the benefits of eating those tasty whole grains! 

1) They fuel your workout. Take it from someone who had their carbs cut as they trained for 3 hours a day, 6 days a week, in preparation for my first fitness competition. Carbs are life. Okay, maybe not life, but carbs do help fuel you for those long, grueling workouts. I'll give you a real-life example:
I was one month out from my show and headed into my local gym for leg day. Now I think it's worth mentioning, I LOVE leg day!! I train glutes directly once a week, hammies once and quads once. That's three days where I beat the every living life out of my little legs. So you can imagine my amazement when I loaded my barbell with 165lbs (a weight I never had trouble picking up thus far) and couldn't get it off the ground. I'm not talking couldn't fully extend... I'm talking not even an inch off the ground. I had ZERO energy and less than zero strength. Prior to cutting carbs, I was crushing 50 pullups a day. Once my carbs were cut, I could barely throw my 100lb body up to the bar... it was brutal. 
The lesson I learned is that our bodies need carbs - ESPECIALLY before and after we lift. Which leads me to my next point...
2) They help build muscle mass. Ingesting carbs after a workout kicks off the recovery and muscle growth process! After an intense gym session, our bodies are depleted of glycogen (stored energy) and glucose (usable energy). The reason being, when we're lifting weights our muscles are working hard - using up all available glucose and glycogen for energy. Once our bodies get to a point where there is simply no more glucose/glycogen left to use, we then begin secreting the hormone cortisol - which essentially eats up our muscle tissue for protein and converts it into glucose. This whole process - known as gluconeogenesis - results in a loss of muscle tissue. What a bummer, right?? Which is why it's critical to ingest carbs and protein - getting them to your exhausted muscles immediately following a tough workout. 
3) They help you recover faster. Eating complex carbohydrates after an intense lifting session can minimize delayed onset muscle soreness by replenishing glycogen levels, support immune system function, and assist with overall muscle repair (when paired with protein). 

And if the reasons above aren't enough, let's face it. Carbs are freakin delicious. Just remember that mostly EVERYTHING we eat has carbs. Fruit, vegetables, multi-vitamins, you name it! However, all carbs are not created equal. Some great complex carbohydrates to add into your diet are:

• Brown rice
• Oatmeal (cook it in water and fold egg whites in at the end!)
• Sweet potatoes
• Quinoa 
• Brown rice cakes
• Ezekiel bread (their cinnamon raisin bread toasted and topped with a tablespoon of almond butter is the BOMB dot com)
• All veggies

If you take away one thing from this post, I hope that it is the mere fact that carbs - and food in general - are not the enemy. They're fuel. They work in conjunction with our training routines and should be enjoyed and appreciated. Life is too short to live in fear of food!

XO,

Jenn

What I'm Thankful For This Year

As the Thanksgiving holiday quickly approaches, I've been thinking quite a bit about gratitude. I honestly cannot believe 2015 is coming to a close - it seems the older I get, the faster the years whiz on by. There have definitely been some highs and lows over the past year, so I decided to embark on a gratitude journey - appreciating all of the lessons I've learned over the past 11 months. If you haven't tried a gratitude exercise, I encourage you to do so. Studies and research show practicing gratitude improves your physical and psychological health as well as overall self-esteem and mental strength. 

So let's flip the script and cultivate gratitude this holiday season rather than succumb to complaining about holiday mall traffic, being the only single one at the family holiday dinner table, or whatever else may be weighing on you as the season quickly approaches.

2015, thank you for:

My New Home
I mean, look at this beautiful spa-like bathroom! :) 

In all seriousness, I was blessed with the ability to purchase a beautiful new home this year. One in which I was able to re-design essentially from the ground up. I had so much fun working with a skilled contractor gutting nearly 75% of my 1960s ranch-style home. Some of my favorite touches? My all-white kitchen, 7 ft island perfect for entertaining, huge dining room which will be hosting my very first Thanksgiving, a beautifully feminine bedroom complete with an adorable chandelier that hangs over my bed, nearly an acre of peaceful, private land... and the list goes on. 

Phenomenal Friends

Boy have I been blessed with amazing friends. They've supported me all year long - from coming to cheer me on at my bikini competition, to being my listening ear, letting me be the third wheel, putting up with me bringing tupperware to fancy restaurants, calling/texting/emailing/showing up at my house when I just needed support, and so much more. I feel beyond blessed to be surrounded by such strong, supportive and loving women.

A Strong Mind and Resilient Body

Competition prep was anything but easy this year. Dropping 10% body fat while putting on lean muscle mass over a short 4 months was hard. There were days - especially as my show came near - where I had barely enough energy to get out of bed. Juggling a full-time career, spending 2-3 hours a day in the gym, living on less than 1,000 calories and around 5g fat a day left me EXHAUSTED. Yet somehow, I pushed myself beyond my limits and made it to show day unscathed. I am beyond grateful for making it through without a single physical injury. Sure, I missed out on quite a few memories and my lady friend still hasn't returned, but all in all - my body and mind stayed strong and kept pushing... even when all I wanted to do was quit (which I debated daily!).

Maturity to Trust the Timing of My Life
This year, I finally stopped swimming up stream. I spent nearly the entire year single, embracing the opportunity to spend some time on myself. I taught barre, took some vacations, prepped for my first bikini competition, worked my tail off, received a promotion, sold my condo, bought and renovated a new (to me) home, nurtured relationships with friends and family and just "did me." I spent lots of time reflecting on past decisions, future desires, and worked on aspects of myself I was less than thrilled with. It's been an incredible journey - one that I am particularly proud of considering embracing singleness has always been a point of contention for me. I am beyond grateful I took the time and am so very excited to see what the future has in store for me. They say you have to be your own before you can be someone else's... and for the first time in a long time - I feel like I am the person that the person I am looking for is looking for. 

Well, friends... what are YOU thankful for??

XO,
Jenn

NPC Bikini Post-Competition Life: I'm Ready!

"What are you going to do after the competition?"

Hands down, this is the #1 question people ask me lately. I have precisely 3 days that stand between me and show day and to distract myself from the grumblings coming from my stomach, I have been doing a ton of thinking. Thinking about what i want once this competition prep - and competition itself - is over. I’ve contemplated what my new normal will look like. What will make me happy. What I truly want for my life. And here’s the truth. 

Competition prep has quite possibly been one of the most selfish things I’ve ever done. Now that’s not necessarily a terrible thing. It has gotten me in incredible shape, imparted a ton of knowledge as it relates to nutrition and overall well being. I’ve learned how to make better decisions as it relates to food, and I’ve learned to push myself in the weight room. Mostly i’ve come to the self-realization that i am a tough cookie. I set my mind to competing, and i’m doing it. It hasn’t been easy 99% of the time. I quit 100,000 times in my mind. But I somehow stuck it out. All of the nights out with friends, tupperware in tow. The vacations I abstained from, in fear of not having the right foods at my disposal. The short fuse, the impatience from being hangry, the self-inflicted isolation. Running on fumes and still showing up in the gym when I barely had enough energy to get out of bed. 

So yes, I’ve had lots of time to self-reflect and decide what I want once Saturday is behind me. And here’s what I’m ready for:

I’m ready to be a bit more selfless. I’m ready to be a more engaged friend. A daughter who calls more often. I’m ready to be more present in my career. I’m ready to workout for pleasure. Embrace my love of cooking. Entertain in my new home. I’m ready to resume traveling for pleasure. I’m ready to get out there and try all the awesome new restaurants that have opened in Atlanta since I’ve been on prep.  

And quite possibly the most significant, I’m ready to fall in love. Not just the love I have for friends and family. Beyond the love I have for myself. I’m ready for the put someone first, love with my whole heart, even when it’s scary and I’m vulnerable and feel like I’m standing naked in a crowd but it’s SO worth it love. 

I’ve spent the last 6 months being completely consumed with myself - and I’ve learned so very much. But truth be told, there is a whole life I want to live that has NOTHING to do with how visible my abs are. And to that life, all I can say is, "I am ready!"

NPC Bikini: 12 DAYS Out. Someone Give Me a Cracker!

NPC Bikini: 12 DAYS Out. Someone Give Me a Cracker!

12 Days. 288 Hours. 17,280 Seconds. 

But whose counting?! 

Mental State:

• We truly all do get by with a little help from our friends. My girlfriends have stepped up in the biggest way possible lately. From coming over for tea, to coffee dates, to hourly check-in texts and helping me whitewash my fireplace - I am beyond blessed with such strong, reliable and loving women. Color me emotional from the sodium, fat and calorie deficit I'm in, but it nearly moves me to tears just to think about all the love around me. I am so grateful each and every single one of you!!
• Today is the big day! I pick up my suit at Waterbabies! Cannot wait to see that teeny tiny red sparkly suit! 
• I'm still amazed at the scale. I've been losing a lot of weight - not necessarily the healthiest way I'm sure. My calories are around 1k a day, fat is under 20g and sodium is non-existent. Next time around, I think I can do this with more food... but we're so close out to showtime I am just trying to power through and make it to next Saturday.
• I can't lie though - it's an emotional roller coaster. I'm still foggy, still weak and sometimes I just want to cry. Other times - like yesterday when I was at LA Fitness and a guy literally came up to me and said, "Hey Gorgeous. Happy Monday. How was your weekend? You party?"... I just want to punch people in the face. Dude, I don't know you. I don't want to talk to you. Walk away! #sorrynotsorry BUT there are days (or moments) where I feel happy and grateful. The other day I was running sprints and an amputee walked by. I couldn't help but look up, and thank g-d for blessing me with the physical ability to embark on this journey. 

Workouts:

Totally normal gym attire, no!?

• Finding my energy completely zapped. Long gone are my early morning workouts. I just can't get up and energized in time. Now I get up around 7:30am, drink coffee and eat breakfast. I ease into my work day and then workout at lunch and after work. I just can't power through early mornings like I used to!
• Definitely feeling my strength subside. I'm trying to go heavy, but power lifts like squats and deadlifts are getting harder to PR. 
• Cardio was upped to 6 days a week, 30 minutes at a time. Considering some girls have an hour 7 days, I don't want to complain. I just listen to a bunch of good music, pray and breathe. It's over soon enough.

Nutrition:

• Yeah, so all sodium is now gone. That means my little tablespoon of mustard to help me choke down fish is gone. My food officially has zero flavor. 
• I am going to turn into a green bean. Or Asparagus. Or a piece of chicken breast. I've given up on trying to make the food exciting - so at this point I literally eat the same meal 6 times a day (fish or chicken, sweet potato or butternut squash, and asparagus, carrots or green beans). The struggle is real, folks.
• I've cheated. I'm weak. I've eaten a few quest bars here and there. Good lord the mint chocolate chip is delicious. Sorry Coach Steve. 
• I am still going at this 100% natural. No fat burners, no diuretics, nothing. 

Saw this quote by Arnold himself and couldn't help but love it. We truly are always stronger than we know. ALL that's getting me through the next 12 days is knowing that I've been strong enough to come this far - it's been a LONG journey - and I just have to keep pushing past the boundaries I've put in my own way. Let's do this!. 

NPC Bikini: 2 Weeks Out. Brain-Dead, Tired and Hangry

17 Days. I can do it. I can do iiiiiit. Can't I?! 

Mental State:

• Hunger. Intense feelings of hunger - aka HANGRY pains. I literally think about food 90% of the day. The other 10% I'm asleep.
• Doubt. Am I ready? Since this is my first show, I have no benchmark on how I should feel/look. Am I lean enough? Is my stomach flat enough? Are my glutes getting TOO flat? It's been a hard balance to strike - leaning out while keeping any size on me. I'm losing weight rapidly without really changing much - so I'm almost a bit nervous of coming out on stage looking flat... but I am trusting the process, my coach and my body. Whichever shape I bring out on stage is the shape I'm meant to have on show day. 
• Fog. Not like London Fog. MENTAL fog. I've gone grocery shopping without my wallet THREE times. I've missed calls at work. I constantly leave the house and realize I've forgotten something once I'm driving out of the neighborhood. I'm just completely OUT.OF.IT. 
• Grateful. I've worked SO hard since May for this body, and it's been great to me. Thank g-d I've had no injuries - I may be small, but I'm mighty! I'm also greatful for my friends, my coach, my teammates and everyone who has stuck by my side and given me words of encouragement when I wanted to cry, quit or both!
• Excitement. Thanks to my awesome teammates, I'm excited for show weekend!! As I've mentioned, hair, tan and makeup are all booked. Now it's fun thinking about lounging around with girlfriends and enjoying the event itself.  
• Guilt. I'm feeling guilty for having thoughts of pushing a small child out of my way for a brownie. Or a Quest Bar. Or a protein shake. Or anything OTHER than chicken, fish, green beans  or asparagus. 

Workouts:

• So.Over.Cardio. It's not even that I hate cardio (kinda do, but it's a necessary evil) - it's just that I'm so tired. It's hard for me to get motivated to power through sprints and stairmill circuits when all I want to do is nap! I've started taking High Volume by PEScience and love it. Totally helps give you a pump with zero caffeine. If only it would take away my cravings for food other than chicken and asparagus!
• Still powering through my lifting sessions. I actually got the chance to meet Lee Haney a few weeks ago at my coach's gym - what a nice guy!! He went up to Coach Steve and said "Hey Steve, is that one of your competitors? She looks beautiful." I had no idea who he was! Steve looked at me and said "You do realize that is Lee Haney himself, right?" Color me embarrassed. Here I was, bitching and moaning through 5 sets of pull-ups in front of a bodybuilding legend!

Nutrition:

• I'm trying my best, but hot damn I'm OVER this diet. Eating chicken or fish 7 times a day is just not fun folks. Especially when you factor in zero sodium. Actually, that's a lie. I've been using mustard or hot sauce - but those are gone 2 weeks out. So now it's plain 'ol protein. It's a constant internal battle between I'm so hungry and I hate the way this fish tastes.
• I want carbs. All the carbs. I've been trying to de-bloat my belly however possible and cutting starchy carbs was the first way. So now I'm eating 4oz of butternut squash with some cinnamon as my carb source for lunch & dinner. I'm still having my WHOPPING 1/4 cup old-fashioned oats in water for breakfast. I swear, I long for the mornings of oatmeal with almonds and a cut up banana. 
• Like I mention above, I'm trying to do whatever I can to get rid of any last belly bloat before the show. So a new nightly ritual of Dandelion tea and chugging lemon water are now part of my daily routine. 

Life Lately:

• I went to a friend's wedding over the weekend and rocked a new dress (which fit when I bought it 3 weeks ago but I had to have it taken in last minute!). I was proud of myself for having ZERO alcohol at the wedding, zero wedding cake (although I did try a bite of a french macaron - my all time fave), snacking on a Quest bar during cocktail hour and making good decisions on clean veggies and lean protein during the reception. It was NOT easy - but I made it happen. Mind over matter. . 

Late night abs: 

NPC Bikini Comp - 4 Weeks Out

4 Weeks Out. You’re probably all thinking, “You can do it! Only 4 weeks stand between you and the finish line!” But here’s the reality. Unless I get hit by a bus on the day of my show (please lord, don’t let that happen!), life will go on. 

Let me say that again. Life does NOT end with my show.

But speaking of my show... I recently went and tried on suit colors and cuts to determine the most flattering one for show day. Here's a little sample of the dental floss - aka suit- I tried.

When I started on my journey back in May, I was nearly 26% bodyfat and thanks to a trip to the Dominican Republic at an all-inclusive resort, I have no clue how much I weighed (probably close to 130!).

Over the past 5 years I’ve conquered TONS of fitness-related goals. I’ve done a triathlon, I’ve competed in CrossFit and began teaching barre classes. And now, I’ve become a bodybuilder.

As a lover of the quote “Life is short, have dessert first,” I’ve never been a fan of depriving myself. I always thought I could out train an indulgent diet. During my CrossFit years I worked out nearly every day and lifted heavy weights. I ate paleo and avoided refined sugars and anything “white” in regards to flour/pasta/bread. I was in pretty good shape – I was just constantly hungry and constantly giving in to my cravings so the body fat stayed put. I also indulged in alcohol 3-5 times a week thanks to an intense social/dating life.

It wasn’t until I started working with my coaches in May 2015 that for the first time in my life I put myself (or shall I say was put on) a meal plan.

For those unfamiliar, you’re literally given a list of foods broken out into categories: protein, carbs, fat, fruit and vegetables and the exact quantities you’re supposed to eat at each meal. The plan is completely void of all oils, butter and sodium so everything you see below is either steamed or roasted with pepper and sodium-free seasonings (Hello Mrs. Dash!). As my show has gotten closer, portions have changed and foods are eliminated. If you’re curious, here is my current meal plan:

Meal 1: (Breakfast) 3oz liquid egg whites, ¼ cup old fashioned oats (cooked in water), 4oz berries

Meal 2: (Before workout) 1.5 oz chicken, 4 oz berries, 6 almonds

Meal 3: (Lunch) 3 oz Orange Roughy, 4 oz. butternut squash, 6oz asparagus spears

Meal 4: (Afternoon snack) 1.5 oz chicken, 6 oz green beans, 6 almonds

Meal 5: (Dinner) 3 oz chicken breast, 4 oz. quinoa (cooked in water), 6oz green beans

Meal 6: (Before bed) 1.5 oz chicken, 6 oz asparagus

The workouts currently consist of weight-training for 60-90 minutes 5 days a week along with 25 minute HIIT cardio 6 days a week. 

WHAT’S MY POINT?

Preparing for a competition has forever changed me – mind and body. I’ve shed fat and put on lean muscle. And while I love being in this type of shape, I do strive for a healthy and balanced lifestyle. A lifestyle I plan to embrace next month when I transition out of my “cutting” and into “real life.”

Eating the way a fitness competitor eats during prep (and doing their workouts!) is not necessarily the solution. In fact, such a rigid, restrictive plan could potentially lead to failure because of the difficulty to stay the course. I am currently craving BALANCE, healthy HABITS and freedom. I’d love to enjoy a meal that isn’t weighed or measured. Shit, Quest Bar just came out with a pumpkin flavor that I’ve been legit DROOLING over. I’d love to skip the gym one day just because I’m tired – or because I’m on the road with work and don’t want to get up at 4am every day (cutting/contest prep and traveling with a full-time corporate job is EXHAUSTING – I literally come home sick every single time). I’d love to get the small popcorn at the movies, or say yes to ordering dessert on a date. In fact, obsessing over food is a real thing!

Orthorexia: an obsession with avoiding foods perceived to be unhealthy

Thankfully, I don’t think I’m developing another eating disorder, but I will say being this regimented with every single morsel of food isn’t the healthiest way to live. I travel everywhere with my insulated food bag - packed with my food scale to ensure I’m eating the right portions of proteins/carbs (I usually eyeball veggies since you can’t really get enough of them so long as they are free of oils or sodium). I'm always sporting a gallon jug of water (which is a super great habit to get into, btw!).

I hope you don't walk away from this post with negative thoughts – it’s just me keeping it real and telling the truth. This isn’t easy – and it isn’t as glamorous as one might think. It’s hard work, dedication, insane will power and surprisingly, the strength doesn’t come from a physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.

As always, thanks for reading and following me on my journey. You guys are the best.

XO,

Jenn

NPC Bikini Competition Update

Guys,

Is this really happening? We're getting so close! All on comp prep front is going right along. It's funny but I still struggle with those sweet cravings. The other day I went to the grocery store for chicken and must've blacked out. I literally found myself in the cookie aisle just staring at all the oreos. Did you know they now make them in caramel apple and pumpkin pie? Neither sound appealing, however I would do some serious damage to the Brownie Batter ones. Put that ish on my list for post-comp cheat. 

And speaking of cheat meals... I had one Saturday! Totally unexpected (and definitely my last before my show) - I went for Mexican with my awesome girlfriends. Chips, salsa, queso AND two tacos with beans and plantains. OMG. Each bite was more glorious than the next. Coach said to get dessert too, and I fully intended on it - but damn I was so full. Not a single morsel of food was getting inside me after that meal of gluttony. But then, something crazy happened. I was sick all of Sunday! Like terrible cramping, awful feelings of bloat and lethargy. It was awful! Which begs the question - what will I do after my show? Clean eating may be slightly anti-social and definitely more expensive and time consuming, but man... I feel like a million bucks when I do. I'll be spending quite a bit of time over the next few weeks deciding what to do after my show, especially since I am strongly considering doing another in March now that I have a better "base" then when I started this journey (less fat and more muscle). 

Temptation overall is really gone. My willpower is about 99.99999% ON POINT. Last Thursday I met a girlfriend for dinner at a hot spot in town, and brought my dinner. We then met friends afterwards at Holeman & Finch - the restaurant FAMOUS for their burger and fries. I sat and watched all of them crush burgers (TWO patties, cheese, etc.), fries and beers. I felt ZERO temptation to ask for a bite. I nursed my water and then did give into my true craving - silver tequila on the rocks. I've never been a big drinker in that I can't drink a ton of drinks, but I do love a drink or two. That, and dessert, has been the hardest for me this prep. I'm perfectly content eating my chicken and green beans 7 times a day - but tell me I can't have a glass of wine and we have a problem!

Last weekend during posing, my fellow competitors suggested I try waist training (apparently I was the only one who didn't get the memo!). Thankfully my waist is already sitting at around 24.5 inches, but I still struggle with feeling confident with my midsection. We all have our insecure spots and that is for sure mine. So here it is - you put it on just like a corset and boy it's hard to breathe!! It has boning it in that keeps everything tight - I try and wear it for at least half the day... when I take it off I'm like Oh Hello abs!! 

Speaking of my fellow competitors - these girls have been awesome sauce lately. We've all been having a ton of fun showing up for posing practice on Tuesday's and Saturday's and lifting each other up during this super intense time. I used to DREAD posing practice - something about standing on stage nearly naked in bizarrely revealing positions just didn't come naturally (surprise surprise). However, now I'm feeling confident and posing practice has become fun! Here are some recent shots: 

I particularly love this shot because it shows just how hard I've worked to build solid glutes, hamstrings and calves. Leg day for me is chest day for most guys. I just LOVE it. I PR'd my deadlift, leg extension AND hamstring curl today - and nothing makes this girl feel sexier than feeling STRONG. I actually admitted to my coach the other day that I've been sneaking in extra reverse hack squats (if you don't know what these are - google them, then do them) just because I love them so much! If it's true what Steve says - that bikini competitions are "won from the back," I'm glad my hard work is paying off. 

This one is awesome - check out that huge pineapple on my head!! Taking pictures really helps - I can see here how I lose my neck in my side pose. Definitely something to keep in mind as I continue to refine my strut ;) I will say, as confident as I am becoming, I see pictures like this and think damn! I'm so short! I feel like us short ladies need to be even smaller just to look as lean as a taller girl. #shortpeopleproblems

Just a few more weeks until showtime! I'll be ordering my suit in a few weeks... still cannot decide which color/style to go with!! I asked Coach for a gold suit but got a big N-O on that. Apparently bright colors are best... so I'm debating a fuchsia or purplish blue. Anyone who knows me, knows I never shy away from an excuse to go shopping!

Hope everyone's Monday is off to a fabulous start!

XO,
Jenn

NPC Bikini - 6 Weeks Out Update

Although at times it sure doesn't feel like it, were getting close folks!! I'll be honest and say this is where it's getting tough. I mentally debate quitting every day, but thanks to the awesome support I consistently receive from friends, fellow competitors, and amazing coaches, I've been able to power through.

So let's cut to the chase. Here are the things no one wants to talk about when it comes to contest prep:

1) It's completely isolating. Your friends who used to call you for dinner, brunch, happy hour, drinks on a Saturday night, a concert, {fill in the blank with anything fun here} just stop. Your good friends find creative ways to see you despite the lifestyle - walks, pedicures, workouts, whatever. It's the time together that matters, not what you're doing. To those girlfriends - and you know who you are - you literally brighten my life and I am SO grateful for you all. I think for me personally, working from home exacerbates the feeling of isolation, but I just keep reminding myself it's 6 more weeks.

2) You get hangry. For those unfamiliar, that is hungry AND cranky all bundled together. Who wants to weigh every morsel of food, count every macro, pass on every dessert, look the other way when someone opens a bottle of wine. It's tough! While I don't want to fall off the wagon and engage in an unhealthy way of eating, it would be pretty blissful to eat some food, drink some wine and just ENJOY without counting. Maybe it's because i'm bad at math :)

3) Your wardrobe is no more. Nothing fits. Jeans fall down and tops are beyond baggy. Workout clothes even begin to be too big. You want to go buy new clothes, but you're not sure what size you'll end up post comp so you hold out and just embrace always looking disheveled. 

4) You have no release. Working out used to be my release, but now honestly the workouts are so long it feels like work. You can't wind down with wine or a cocktail, and if you're single like me, you can't release with a little sexy time either. (For those who read the last few posts, the new relationship is no more thanks to one primary reason - I'm cool, he's not! Juuuuust kidding, he's a good guy. Just not my guy.)

5) Weird physical shit starts happening. Apologies in advance, but I'm going to keep it real here. Your body fat gets so low during cutting, wave goodbye to your menstrual cycle. The good news to that is I no longer have raging PMS cravings, the bad news is I'm sure my hormone levels are completely out of whack. Have you ever tried eating your body weight in protein? Well when you compete, you do. Fruits, fats, and carbs are reduced and your diet mainly consists of water, protein (eggs/chicken/fish/turkey) and veggies. This is where living alone is a positive. Google protein farts. #thestruggleisreal

Don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to only focus on the negative. The truth of the matter is, competing is a blessing. I'm blessed to be able to afford my coach. I'm blessed to be physically able to complete my strenuous workouts. I'm blessed to have the willpower to stick to my diet. I'm blessed to have a support system that KICKS ASS. But, in true "me" fashion, I felt I owed it to everyone to keep it 100 and admit that this is not glamorous nor "easy." But then again, no one said it would be easy. But it sure will be worth it.

XO,
Jenn

NPC Bikini Prep 7 Weeks Out... and How to Quell Overthinking

53 days. There are 53 days between a stage, tiny bikini and me.

I vividly remember a conversation with my girlfriend Beth back in May. She said two months before my competition she'd start "giving me space" because I'd probably be tired and hungry. Well, thanks to the power of Advil PM, I'm no longer tired. However, I am hungry. And technically not hungry since I do eat 7 times a day... but I am now craving the most RANDOM foods like never before. Candy corn. Pumpkin spice lattes. BBQ Brisket with Mac Cheese. Smores. Sushi. ALL. THE. WINE. 

My dad was in town visiting this weekend and I just about SNAPPED on the poor man as he reached for a bag of Twizzlers at the store. I nearly teared up watching him enjoy my favorite meal, at my favorite restaurant, while I pulled out a chicken breast from my YSL clutch. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again - comp prep is 99% mental. The mind is such a powerful thing. The more I tell myself I don't need to succumb to my cravings, the stronger I feel. On the days when I say I can't do it, I truly feel like I can't stomach another morsel of fish or ground turkey. This fitness journey is MIND over MATTER - a lesson I'm re-learning daily.

With just 53 days till my show, I've begun letting my mind wander about what I want after the show - which will apparently be an all day affair (pre-judging begins in the morning, lunchtime break followed by an evening show!). I've decided a small zip lock baggie of candy corn mixed with roasted peanuts is exactly what I want (although this surely will change 100 times between now and then). The day after my show, I have a photoshoot with the amazingly talented Kelli Price - SO excited to have some tangible proof of this strong, lean little body I'm building. Immediately following that shoot, I plan to get brunch with friends at General Muir here in Atlanta. Embarrassingly, I totally look at pictures of their poutine and pastry basket on Instagram and let myself drool. Look at these pictures and tell me they don't look delicious AF.

Alright, putting my inner fat kid away, here is my 7 weeks out progress. 

For someone who is generally very critical of herself, I must admit... I love this picture. It was just before a special dinner out with a hunky someone - and that ear to ear smile doesn't lie. Beyond how genuinely happy I felt the night this picture was taken, I love how lean my legs are looking! Being a whopping 5'2, it's sometimes hard to appreciate my short legs... but this picture shows just how toned they're getting! The short shorts and tank were both purchased from the kids department at Marshalls (no shame in my game!) - as I can't bring myself to continue wearing my clothes which no longer fit, yet I don't want to invest a ton of money as I'm not sure I'll be maintaining my size 0 frame after my show. All in all, I feel strong and happy. I'm not sure where I'll be in 7 weeks - but I am going day by day, placing confidence in my coach AND myself. 

Switching gears... I'd be a liar if I sat here portraying life to be all unicorns shitting rainbows. I'm human, and like everyone else walking planet earth, I deal with my own insecurities and vulnerabilities. Recently, I started dating someone and began a swirl of super unhealthy thinking. Is he as interested in me as I am in him? Is he dating anyone else? The list goes on. It's funny because I normally don't over analyze many things in life... but when I meet someone I really like (RARE!)... all hell breaks lose. For anyone else out there who falls victim to overthinking, you all know how downright debilitating it can be. I don't mean to do it, it just sort of happens. And the scary part of overthinking is that it allows us to create negative thought processes, situations and problems that aren't actually there. I recently saw a quote "Don't believe everything you think" - how genius. It's not an easy pattern to break, however. And I've had to diligently work on quelling the inner thoughts that make me go crazy inside. I have to remember to breathe, relax and have faith. Nothing gets away that's meant to be yours. When something is meant to be, it WILL. Whether you over analyze or refuse to give it a second thought. I also try and replace each negative thought with one positive fact. I.e.: {negative thought} I really like him, what if he doesn't feel the same? {positive fact} He couldn't wait to introduce you to his best friend. Men don't introduce you to their childhood friends if they're not interested. He was attentive, affectionate and treated you like a very important person in his life. Relax, woman! 

In my moments of over-thinking, I've found the following helps most: Take a deep breath. Ask myself "will this matter in a year? 5 years?" Distract myself by going to workout, calling a friend/family member, walking Lucy, and praying. I've literally dropped to my knees and prayed to g-d to give me the strength to trust in Him and release the worry when times get tough. And every time, it makes me feel substantially better. 

For all of my fellow over-thinkers out there, give it a try. I hope just one, if not all, of these tactics help you, too! Even the most confident individuals struggle with self-doubt... after all, we all carry around the wounds from past relationships. Been cheated on? How could you not have trust issues. Been abandoned? Surely you'll be waiting for the shoe to drop this time around. 

They say time heals all wounds, and while I do agree... I also believe love heals our wounds. As long as we have the strength and courage to believe in love just one more time. 


XO,
Jenn

I'm Alive... a New Homeowner... and 8 Weeks Out

It's been awhile, I'd say! 

As life has seriously picked up steam lately blogging just seemed like such a daunting task. Where do I begin?! There's just so much going on - most days I feel like I'm doing all I can to keep my head above water. 

As mentioned in my previous post, I did buy a house. And as of last weekend, I sold my condo! It's been a long, quasi exhausting process trying to buy a fixer upper, work with a contractor on renovations all the while stressing out about selling my condo. And in an interesting turn of events, I ended up selling my house nearly fully furnished! While the buyer was the one who initiated the deal, I must say I'm somewhat relieved I don't have to deal with a huge move - AND - I'm pretty excited to buy some new furniture. In fact, thanks for a dining room sale from World Market, I just purchased my very first big girl dining room table! Hello Holidays :) 

The thought of getting friends and family together around a big table to eat, drink and be merry puts a HUGE smile on my face. I ended up ordering the Arcadia Extension Table which was on sale from $700 to $500. Considering it seats up to 12 people, it's a great deal! Here is a picture of the large, rectangular wood table. I love the thick pillars and the fact that I can keep it closed, or open it to its full length for holiday dinners!

To lighten things up since the table is quite dark, I purchased Ecru Evelyn Upholstered Chairs to go along the sides, and am currently waiting on some Winged back chairs for the heads of the table. 

I never thought I'd be the owner of a 1960's ranch home - I've always been a fan of new construction. BUT after starting my house hunt and realizing I was going to either sacrifice location or home age, I decided to stick with the location I wanted and buy an older home. I've actually had fun (albeit stressful fun) picking out flooring, counter tops, cabinets, tile and such. I have a LONG list of projects I want to tackle - and given the fact that I am NOT handy myself, I'm slightly overwhelmed at the idea of tackling everything but I know Rome wasn't built in a day, and there is plenty of time to make it my own. Buying a single family home has been on my mind constantly for the past 4 years... and after long enough of saying "I"ll buy a house once I meet someone," I'm relieved I finally had the courage to just go for it. I'm trusting in g-d's plan for my life - and while I still of course hope it involves meeting an amazing man and building a life together - I'm no longer depriving myself of a large life goal. 

And speaking of... I am trying to train my mind, similarly to how I train my body, and take matters of the heart slowly for a change. Single since February, I've spent a good amount of time reflecting on past relationships - what worked, what didn't, what I liked about myself, and what I needed to work on. Time and time again I realized I jump head first into someone. I let attraction and passion take over and by date 3 I'm in a full blown, talking constantly, texting hourly, relationship with no substance. Truth is, chemistry is fairly easy to find. You can spot tons of people you find attractive. You can go for dinner, share a bottle of wine, overtly flirt, and jump into something without taking the time to decide whether or not you even like the person - or know them for that matter!! So this time around, I'm doing things differently. Abstaining from alcohol while on prep has helped, as my inhibitions aren't lowered and dates aren't centered around drinking. And while I did "swear off dating" to a certain extent earlier this summer to focus on my competition and myself, great things do happen unexpectedly. And for a change, I'm going to keep this one close to the chest -  but I will say someone has come into my life that has raised the bar and changed the way I want to approach a relationship. I'm giving it time to develop and space to evolve, because for the first time in a very long time, I honestly believe it's worth it :)

And, for an update on competition prep. Well folks - I'm 8 weeks out! Sometimes I can't believe I only have 8 weeks left, and other days I can't believe I STILL have 8 weeks!! It's been a LONG journey.... and I can't lie and say it's been easy. I miss eating without weighing my food. I miss treating myself to Twizzlers or a burger "just because." I miss being social and having cocktails with friends. With all that being said, this is hands down the most confident and proud I've been of this body of mine. I feel physically strong and sexy - my clothes no longer fit and I catch glances of muscles I never knew I had. While I'm still nervous my abs won't come in time for my show, I've worked my ass off (literally) and I think the progress is showing. I really couldn't imagine doing this without the guidance and support of my coaches Steve and Rachel, along with the encouragement and support from my fellow competitors. The girls are so sweet - I'm lucky we all lift each other up and constantly offer support. If anyone has ever thought of competing, or simply getting in the best shape of their life, I'd seriously recommend working with House of Payne. They're incredible (and I'm not just saying that because Coach Steve told me to leave the gym and have a cookie the other day!!). They make me feel like they genuinely care about me - in and out of the gym. Monday was such a tough day for me emotionally, I actually got in the car and drove 40 minutes just to see them face to face and get a hug!

I haven't been the best with posting progress pictures, so here are two from this week. I think leaning out overall has been the biggest change. 

As always, thanks for supporting me through this journey. As my workouts get longer and diet gets tougher, it means SO much to me receiving words of encouragement. Yesterday I received a super sweet and special gift from a dear friend. She took the time to write encouraging notes on a stack of post-its for me to stick on my plastic tupperware containers. This morning the words of encouragement put a smile on my face as I left for the gym at 6 am :) So to Erin and all of the other amazing friends I am so blessed to have in my life- I appreciate and love you all.

XO,

Jenn