How Do You Know Your Partner Is THE ONE?

I recently stumbled upon such a thought-provoking article from A Cup of Jo - if you're looking for a neat blog that covers topics ranging from food, fashion, relationships and more, you must check out Joanna!

The article, How Do You Know Your Partner Is the One, surveyed folks on the age old question - How did you know he/she was the ONE? Immediately after reading the article, I began reflecting upon my own relationship. Despite having met my boyfriend a few times over the past few years, the timing was never right. We had both been dating others and we lived on opposite ends of the country. However, when our mutual friends re-introduced us last year things were different. I was different. My wants and needs were different. I was finishing up a long fitness competition prep, I had recently bought a home and was in the midst of renovation, and more than anything - I finally felt like I had become the person that the person I was looking for was looking for. 

At the risk of sounding cliche, everything changed when I began dating Ken. He is quite literally one of the most wonderful human beings I have ever known. He's kind and patient when I need it most. He takes control and leads the way when I'm lost. He treats me like a partner and a priority, eliminating any doubt that could have easily crept in as we embarked upon a loooong distance relationship. With all that said, and with Jo's article in mind, there are still more than a handful of other reasons I know I've met the one.

His happiness is mine. Is he having a good day? Ohhhh, look! M&MS. He loves M&Ms. I should buy these for him. A new superhero movie is opening this weekend. I better buy us tickets before it's sold out! I can't wait to hear how he crushed a workout or how well he played golf. Seeing his smile in person, over FaceTime and hearing it on the phone all brighten my day and bring my heart happiness.  

Home is no longer a place. Home is with him. Sometimes we're spending weekends in Atlanta. Other times we're spending weeks or a month on end in California. We've done a weekend in Vegas and we're going to Hawaii next month for my birthday. The common denominator in all of those places is US. Our relationship has taught me that I don't really care where I live (so long as there's a Lulu and Whole Foods within driving distance - DUH!) so long as we are by each other's side. 

I'm softer and sweeter. Let's not forget - I'm a born and raised spitfire Jewish girl from NYC. Where I grew up, we took public transportation. We cursed. We spit our gum out in the middle of the street while walking to the neighborhood 7 Eleven to buy slurpees and play handball. And while you can take the girl out of New York, you can't always take New York out of the girl. I'm still short tempered (despite my best efforts) and a bit feisty. I don't do small talk and I rarely smile at strangers. Since Ken came into my life, I've become.... softer. I've become sweeter. I'm not even sure when it happened - maybe slowly, maybe all at once. But all I know is I wish people a nice day, I smile at strangers and I wave cars in while I'm stopped at street lights. I don't preemptively hang up on customer service representatives and I'm just a much more patient and understanding human being. 

I miss him from the other room. Literally. As soon as he leaves the room, I miss him. 

I see our future. No, not in the weird fortune teller way. But I see it. While I feel zero pressure to start a family right now, I can't help but completely swoon when I watch him - sometimes he's wiping off Lucy's paws from a walk... other times he's laying on the floor playing with his nephew or holding a friend's baby. Sometimes he's just shaving in the bathroom mirror - and I can't help but smile at the idea of him teaching our son how to shave (or letting or daughter slather his face with shaving cream!). When I look at him, I see a whole life ahead. 

I have zero doubts. Our distance has never made me doubt the fate of our relationship. I don't lay in bed wondering how I really, truly feel. I don't wonder if I could see myself as a member of his family or him in mine. I don't question whether he'll be the strong husband I want or a loving father to our children. I don't fear that one single disagreement or argument will end our relationship. My heart is still and my mind feels at peace. 

And this peaceful feeling is how I know. How I know I've met my person. 

XO,
Jenn

32 Life Lessons in 32 Years

Well, it’s almost that time! I cannot believe my 32^nd birthday is around the corner. Where does the time go? Considering the next few weeks will be jam packed with travel, I decided to sit down and give some thought to life lessons I’ve learned so far in my {nearly} 32 years. I posted something similar last year – if you haven’t read it yet, check it out! As always, I'd love to hear from you. Any words of wisdom you've learned in your life thus far? Let's hear it!

On Life:

1.    Whenever possible, choose kindness.

2.    Do more of what scares the shit out of you.

3.    Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want to happen. Have faith and be patient.

4.    Stop playing the victim to the circumstances of your life. You have the ability to shape the life you want – so if you don’t like where you are, do something about it.

5.    The only constant in life is change. Get good at change.

6.    Live simply. Unsubscribe from junk promotional emails. Donate the clothes you haven’t worn since college. Stop collecting things simply to have them.

7.    If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

8.    Don’t allow yourself to stumble on something already behind you.

9.    If you want something, but are overwhelmed with how long it’ll take to accomplish it – GO FOR IT. The time will pass anyway.

10. Be proud of your life. If you’re not, be courageous enough to change it.

11. Practice forgiveness. To yourself and to others. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you need to keep them in your life – but forgiveness is one of the fastest ways to inner peace.

12. The way people treat you usually speaks more to who they are then who you are.

13. There is never a “right time” and there is no sense in waiting until you’re ready. You want something? Go after it with all you have.

14. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

15. Never underestimate the power of a hand-written thank you note.

16. Abandon destination-addiction. Stop wishing for the future and start embracing today.

On Self-Love/Self-Awareness:

1.    Forgive yourself as easily as you’d forgive others.

2.    No one can “make you happy.” That’s an inside job.

3.    Invest in timeless fashions. Quality over quantity always.

4.    Believe you can do it and others will believe it, too.

5.    Get good at saying no. Martha Beck said “When it comes to saying yes or no to something or someone, choose the answer that feels like freedom." If it feels like a burden, just say no.

6.    Pretending everything is perfect does not, in fact, make everything perfect.

7.    Focus on your strengths while nurturing your weaknesses.

8.    Take pride in your appearance, but realize that NO amount of physical beauty will be as valuable as a beautiful heart.

9.    The only way to let love in is to be vulnerable. Let down your walls so love can flow freely.

10. Speak your truth – even if your voice shakes.

11. Being OPEN is just as important as being honest.

12. You can be the juiciest peach in the whole world. And there will always be someone who doesn’t care for peaches.

13. Learn to cook wholesome, healthy meals. Eat the rainbow. Savor your food.

14. Start a gratitude journal. Begin and end every day with a grateful heart.

15. Whether it’s strength training, yoga, running… find a workout regimen you love and make it a part of your daily routine.

16. Trust the timing of your life.

XO,

Jenn

7 Must-Haves for a Stocked Pantry

Over the years, I've learned that in order to ensure I'm eating healthy at home I must have go-to ingredients to make it easy to prepare my meals. Below are just some of my favorite items I ALWAYS have on hand to prepare healthy meals that don't pack on extra pounds!

1. Yogi tea! Used in traditional Chinese and Native American medicine for centuries, dandelion root is known for its detoxifying properties, constipation relief, soothing an upset stomach, and helping shed water weight. In the days leading up to my NPC Bikini Competition last year, I drank dandelion tea three times a day truly believe it helped me shed water weight and helped with overall water retention. In addition to dandelion tea, I love ginger and lemon tea. Ginger tea isn't too popular here in the US, but it's quite common in other parts of the world. The benefits of drinking ginger tea include: improved circulation, reduction in arthritic inflammation, PMS, and overall stress. I also happen to love Chai Spice Mate tea by Guayaki, but it has since been discontinued! If you drink tea as an alternate to coffee (i.e.: for the caffeine boost), check them out. They have tons of other tasty flavors.
2. Chia seeds. Chia - the acient Mayan word for strength. These little seeds are a nutrition powerhouse! High in quality protein - meaning they contain a ton of amino acids - and provide a great alternative for non-meat eating folks to get a little extra protein in their diet. Additionally, chia seeds are 40% fiber, by weight. What does that mean? It means they'll expand in your belly and help you feel fuller, longer - which means you'll ingest less calories. The fiber also feeds the "good bacteria" in your intestine AND have more Omega 3 fatty acids than salmon! I know - who knew?!? I love putting chia seeds in my morning oats or mixed into non-fat plain Greek yogurt. Since they've become increasingly popular, it's easy to find them at any grocery store near you! 
3. Healthy baking staples. I can't lie - I get cravings to whip up some tasty treats just as much as the next person. So when cravings kick in and I decide to bake up something yummy, I always am sure to have the best quality ingredients to make small, relatively guilt-free treats. My go-to items are: almond flour, coconut flour, and enjoy life mini chocolate chips (they are dairy, nut and soy-free).
4. Coconut Secret Organic Raw Coconut Aminos. That's a mouthful! This has become a staple in my pantry ever since being diagnosed with a soy allergy. If there are any fellow Jewish New Yorkers out there reading this, you'll know Chinese takeout is a 3x a week staple in most homes. I was so sad to hear the days of chinese takeout, soy sauce on my sushi and snacking on edamame were long gone however once I found this, I've been able to replicate my favorite meals and they honestly taste even better than before. Even if you're not allergic to soy check this out. It's 100% organic, gluten-free, vegan, and 65% less sodium than soy sauce. 
5. Walden Farms Pancake Syrup. Traditional syrup has WAY too much sugar, so this condiment is a great way to top my protein pancakes with the maple syrup taste without all the calories and sugar. 
6. Coconut Oil Spray. I do not cook with oil at all in an attempt to limit my fat intake, so this coconut oil spray helps ensure my food doesn't stick to my pans. 
7. PB2. For those of my fellow peanut butter/almond butter lovers, the struggle is real. Nut butters taste delicious and are so versatile (I mix them into greek yogurt, dollop a tablespoon on plain egg whites, mix into smoothies, spread on half a banana, eat out of the jar, bake with it... you get the idea) BUT they are fat-laden. PB2 is a powdered peanut butter that has all the taste without the fat. I limit myself to a few tablespoons a week - but all you do is mix it with water and BOOM! Healthy alternative to nut butter. 

What’s in My Grocery Cart? Part I

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage: Abs are Made in the Kitchen.

So what if you’re not interested in ripped abs? What if you’re looking to possibly lower your cholesterol, shed a few pounds of winter fluff, or simply feel good in the skin you're in? 

Regardless of your health and fitness goals, eating clean, nutrient dense food is critical for your overall health and well-being. Since I’ve been asked quite often what I buy and how I eat clean during the week, I thought I’d start a new series “What’s in my grocery cart?” – to give you an idea of what to buy each week to ensure you stay on track eating the critical nutrients needed to fuel yourselves for a busy work week ahead. 

So let’s get started!

Where I shop: Sprouts, Trader Joes, Whole Foods and Costco

Yes, I tend to hit almost all four on any given week. Sometimes I really go nuts and hit all four in a day! I personally like certain products at each store, although for those less picky I’m sure 1 or 2 of these would suffice.

PROTEIN

Boneless, skinless chicken breast: Organic is ideal, although sometimes I purchase chicken free or added hormones and antibiotics.

Ground Turkey Breast: Breast is key here. Ground Turkey includes dark meat and has a higher fat content.

Egg Whites: I buy enough egg whites to feed a small village. They are literally one of the best ways to get in additional protein (I mix them into my oatmeal, eat them alone, in omelets, in protein shakes, you name it!) without any added fat or sugar and minimal calories.

Non-fat plain greek yogurt: I love the Fage brand, but any will do. Just ensure it’s plain and non-fat. This can be made into sweet snacks (mix some fresh fruit and chia seeds in for an awesome pre-workout snack) or savory (mix with lime zest and fresh lime juice to replace sour cream). Tons of protein, minimal sugar and it’s fat-free. Winner winner!

Whey/Casein protein powder (Bodybuilding.com): I am quite obsessed with PEScience Peanut Butter Cup protein powder. In my shakes, in my morning oatmeal, mixed into egg whites, you name it. Low calorie, fat, carbs AND sugar… all while high in protein #winning. Whey protein is quick to digest, while casein takes quite a bit longer (leaving you fuller longer!) so a blend seems to work best for me - but there are PLENTY of proteins on the market - including plant-based and egg based, so my best advice is experiment until you find one that works best for you. 

FATS

Roasted unsalted nuts: Be sure they're unsalted otherwise you'll retain water and take in way too much sodium. Always be sure to weight or count out your portions. Unsalted nuts are good for you, but too many are not. Fat is fat. 

Buff Bake Snickerdoodle Almond Butter (I buy this online): Literally my favorite tasty treat. On toast, in oatmeal, on an apple, out of the jar with my bare hands... you catch my drift.

Avocado: Again, watch your portions here. 2 ounces of avocado is considered a nice, healthy amount.

GRAINS

Sweet potatoes: Cut into "fries" and roasted at 400 with a sprinkle of cinnamon is my favorite way to prep these bad boys.

Gluten-free oat cereal: BE SURE any cereal you purchase has less than 9g sugar

Old-fashioned oats from Costco: Again, enough to feed a small army. I cannot get enough of these!

Ezekiel bread: I loooove the cinnamon raisin English muffins and consider 1/2 to be one portion. These are hearty and thanks to a ton of various grains, will keep you full so much longer than your regular 'ol slice of bread.

FRUITS

Apples: I’m a total brat and only will eat Honeycrisp or Pink Lady. I love storing them in the fridge and keeping them nice and cold and crunchy!

Berries: Give me all.the.berries!

Bananas: I try and limit the amount of bananas I eat as they're very high in sugar and carbs, so stick to 1/2 of a large or one small as a single portion. They are great sliced with almond butter or frozen and thrown into protein shakes!

Lemons: For my water and cooking

Limes: Same as above :)

Frozen cherries: Perfect for protein shakes! Love the combo of chocolate and cherry!

VEGETABLES

Frozen riced cauliflower from Trader Joes: Great for stir frys, homemade pizza crust or as an easy substitute for rice in any dish!

Spinach: Try throwing a handful into your next protein shake. It may change the color but I promise you won't be able to taste it!

Red and Yellow Bell Peppers: Because I'm a weirdo and don't like the taste of the green ones
Fresh garlic: Makes everything taste better!
Fresh ginger root: I LOVE grating this into my food - it adds such a burst of flavor!

Snap Peas: Dip these bad boys in hummus for a tasty (and healthy) afternoon snack

English cucumbers: Because I'm too lazy to peel the waxy layer off of regular cuces! Love thinly slicing these for water or dipping in hummus. 

TIPS
Keep fresh fruits on the counter to encourage yourself to eat them! 

If you work in an office and don't have time to cook, try prepping meals in advance. Overnight pr-oats are easy and delicious - truly giving you NO reason to skip breakfast (YES - it's one of the most important meals of the day!).

Have FUN. Use romaine leaves as wraps for sandwiches and tacos. Experiment and come up with creative substitutes to your favorite meals. My blog has quite a few healthy swamps (more to come!) and when all else fails, Pinterest is a great resource!

I hope the list above was helpful! Remember that eating well is all about finding what works for YOU and your family. If you don't like asparagus, don't buy it! Eat what you enjoy and cook for those you love. Food is fuel and your body is the machine but that doesn't mean it can't be fun. If my contest prep taught me anything about nutrition, it's that elimination diets don't work for the long term. That's why a lot of us fitness competitors end up developing food allergies/intolerances (after eliminating a certain food group for long enough our bodies stop being able to process it!), we lose our menses (not eating enough healthy fat!) and we become downright miserable eating the same 5 foods over and over. Life is short - live and enjoy. Treat your body as a temple and you'll see the rewards in no time. 

I'm also excited to share with you all that I have some more nutrition-related posts coming your way - so expect to see some fun new articles about:

• 5 Diet Rules You Should Break Right Now
• How to Deal with Impossible Cravings 
• Meal Prep Made Easy
• 5 Tips for Succeeding at Your Health and Nutrition Goals!
• 7 Must-Haves for a Stocked Pantry
• How to Develop a Proper Vitamin and Supplementation Plan 

Anything new you want to see?? Other topics you're interested in? Let me know!! I want this blog to be a useful resource for you as you strive to live a balanced, active and healthy life!

XO,

Jenn

Lately I've Been: March Edition

Cooking: All sorts of fun recipes! Last month in Cali, I made Julie's Beef Bulgolgi for the boyf and I honestly think it may have been the best, most flavorful meal I've ever made. I ALWAYS get too lazy to make everything a recipe calls for. 9 times out of 10 if it calls for some "special sauce" to top the dish with, I always skip it thinking eh, I'm sure it'll be fine without. But this time, I cut no corners. I pickled my own cucumbers, marinated the steak, prepped my cauliflower rice (although OMG - if you're near a Trader Joes, do yourself a solid and pick up the frozen ready to roll cauliflower rice - such a time saver!). If you like Asian flavors at all, definitely make this dish and let me know what you think. It's a new favorite for us!!
Drinking: Starbucks Komodo Dragon Coffee. It's dark and rich and oh so delicious. The stores don't always have it brewed, so it's become somewhat of a game for Ken and I - we get so excited when we find it! 

Reading: I just downloaded Kate Hudson's new book: Pretty Happy. The book appealed to me because of the topics: Cultivating an intuitive relationship with your body, eating well, and being mindful in your own body. I'll let you guys know what I think once I dig in. 

Wanting: This GORGEOUS Prada Saffiano purse in Camel. Ladies, do you all cycle out your purse by season? I'm a total supporter of quality over quantity and believe in having just a few key pieces. But I've totally been feeling as though all my purses are black/navy/dark brown. This gorgeous purse would be perfect for Spring/Summer. The big 3-2 is coming next month, so if Prada could start offering a birthday discount, that'd be ggggggreat.
Looking: Forward to some vacations!! In April I'm doing a girl's trip to Austin (never been - any suggestions, please send!!) followed by a two weeks in Cali and a week in Kauai for the big 3-2. I try to live in the present and enjoy every moment, but it's hard when you have fun things to look forward to!!
Wishing: That freakin La Mer would magically be cheaper. I have been telling myself I'm going to pull the trigger on their amazing moisturizer, but with so much going on I haven't been able to bring myself to drop the cash. I LOVE their eye concentrate and have used this moisturizer in the past. Despite the hefty price tag, I honestly feel their products are worth it. I've been experiencing dryness and hormonal breakouts, so I think it's time to make some investments in a solid skincare regimen again.
Enjoying: Working out!! I was pretty open about my struggles to enjoy the gym after my competition at the end of October... I totally burnt out on the same 'ol lifting routine but now I've been back at it - leaving the gym dripping in sweat every day and LOVING it. I'm not doing it to get super cut or to lose a specific amount of weight... I'm simply doing it because I enjoy it. And that feels fan freakin tastic. 

Wondering: How I'm going to get out of paying my nearly $500 speeding ticket I got in Cali. UGH! I was just driving home, minding my own business when a moto cop pulled me over. I literally had to ask him WHY I was being pulled over - I totally felt as though I was going with the speed of traffic. Womp womp.
Loving: Silk's Vanilla Almond Milk Coffee Creamer. I've been trying to drink my coffee black for years but this stuff let's me have that creamy (good lord I hate that word) taste without having to buy the terribly unhealthy synthetic creamers on the market.
Needing: THIS!!! I'm mildly obsessed with buff bake - and they just released Birthday Cake Almond Butter. I need it, but I don't. Testing my willpower to see how long I can hold off buying it... but the current jar in the fridge is getting low - so the time is coming near!
Following: JazzyThings. I love her Instagram account and reading her posts. She's a bodybuilder turned power lifter... and her recent post really hit home for me, and I wanted to share: "Perfection is NOT a real fucking thing. So try this: instead of plastering what you see on social media all over your mind, how about you take each day and work toward YOUR goals. Feel good. Stay active. Define your purpose." Definitely check her out - she posts such motivational stuff including tasty protein-rich recipes and creative workouts. 

Thinking: I need to revisit the whole cauliflower pizza thang. I tried it a few times (unsuccessfully) and also gave a quinoa crusted pizza a shot while in Cali (it was just meh....) so now that Trader Joes has a pre-riced cauliflower, I may give it another shot. I've saved Tina's new recipe which happens to be diary and gluten free... thinking I'll need to make it soon!
Feeling: Elated. Is that an obnoxious way to describe how I'm feeling?? It's true. I spent the month of February in Cali with the boyf and it truly feels like things get better and better as time goes on. I've literally never felt like I'm falling in love AND making a best friend at the exact same time. I have moments where I look at him and my heart melts. Then he has me laughing so hard I swear I'm going to pee my pants. I just feel so... happy. My family is healthy, work is consistent, Lucy is crazy as ever. My friends are wonderful and I'm building amazing relationships with Ken's friends and their wives, too. My cup runneth over.
Bookmarking: TurboTax. Ugh why are my taxes so complicated this year?? I bought and sold homes last year and for some reason, it's throwing me completely off. Too many papers coming from too many places! Thinking it's time to bite the bullet and ask for help.
Planning: To pursue my NASM personal training certification. I absolutely love health and fitness - and the only thing even better than pushing myself to my limits are pushing others to theirs! When I taught Barre, I loved hearing my clients come to me saying they found confidence they never knew they had.. or that they finally fit in their skinny jeans.. or that their husband's notice how they've changed physically and emotionally. I think I was meant to help people with living healthy, active and balanced lives - so the time has come and I'm ready to pull the trigger on obtaining my next level of certification! Can't wait - stay tuned, definitely more to come on that front! 

Okay, enough about me! What have you been up to lately? Read any good books? Try any new healthy recipes or taste some good wine? I want to hear from you!

XO, 

Jenn

Is It Compassion, Not Communication, that is Key to a Happy Relationship?

“Communication is critical to a healthy relationship.”

We’ve all heard it… and we all know how important it is to be able to dialogue with the one we love, but what about acting with compassion?

In relationships, compassion can sometimes take a back seat. Our lives are busy. During arguments it is often times easy to put blinders on and fail to see things from your partner's point of view. To truly be compassionate to your partner, it’s the ability to recognize when our partner is suffering in any sort of a way – and to be loving and kind to them in return.

There’s no one way to show compassion. In fact, when I started thinking about it, there are plenty:

1. Give your undivided attention.

Have you ever sat in front of your partner and spent more time thinking of how you’ll formulate a response to what they’re saying rather than actually listening to them? When you’re actively listening to someone with genuine attention, you’re more likely to understand them. So put down your phone and listen. After all, we all just want to feel like we are being heard.

2. Show affection

Whether you’re “touchy-feely” or not - everyone requires some level of affection. Affection comes in many forms - a sweet smile, picking up their favorite treat at the store, a gentle kiss on the forehead, big hugs, sex… you name it! Affection can also be expressed through encouraging words and unexpected compliments. Let your partner never go a day without knowing how much they are loved and appreciated.

3. Be kind with your words.

Sometimes it's not what we say but how we say it. Sometimes in moments of stress, it’s easy to skip the step of thinking about what our partner needs to hear. Sometimes all they need from us gentle understanding and support. Need an example? Yesterday I picked up my boyfriend from his office for lunch. On the drive home, I got a speeding ticket. When I called to tell him, we both began apologizing. WHY was he apologizing? Well, according to him, he should’ve warned me that road had a lot of cops pulling folks over. He apologized that I got the ticket driving home from dropping him off. I apologized for speeding in his car. I said it was my fault for speeding and not taking note of the limit. Our conversation could have easily turned accusatory – why were you speeding, you can’t drive my car anymore, this wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t driving home from lunch… you catch my drift. But nope. Reason one million and one why my partner and I (in my humble opinion!) work so well together. We try to be as kind as possible, whenever possible. It’s a funny thing when you begin to put the one you love above yourself. If each of you operate that way, you both come out on top.

4. Appreciate

Each of us has an innate need to feel valued and appreciated, especially by those we love. What a great feeling it is when your partner shows their sincere appreciation for the smallest of things. Expressing a high level of emotional intelligence allows couples to become intimately familiar with each other’s world and consider the qualities and characteristics that we genuinely appreciate. It can be something as small as a home cooked meal, buying your favorite bar of soap for the shower, or booking the middle seat just so the two of you won’t get split up on a flight somewhere together. All gestures – small or grand – deserve appreciation. Say thank you. Give kisses. Write a romantic card for no reason. Never stop showing the one you love how grateful you are for them and all they do to ensure your happiness.

5. Nurture Your Friendship

Nearly all successful relationships are based on a solid friendship, due in part to a mutual respect for and an enjoyment of each other’s company. Partners who have a strong friendship don’t just get along, they genuinely admire and support each other. Relationships based solely on sex and passion are fine for the short term, but if you’re looking for a love to withstand a lifetime, you need a solid friendship. There will be days when you’re not feeling so sexy, days when you’re sick with the flu and sweating out a 102 fever. There will be times when you accidentally let one slip in the middle of the night and times when your beloved skinny jeans feel a bit snug. So don’t forget to be playful, have fun with each other and above all else – be each other’s best friends.

6. Accept your partner for who they are today

Let’s face it. We all want to feel accepted. Sure – if all things are going completely splendidly it’s easy to accept your significant other. But what if things aren’t going according to plan? What if they recently got laid off? What if their six pack has disappeared? What if they had a bad day and feel badly about themselves, leaving them incapable of expressing their love and gratitude to you the way you would’ve hoped? My point is, it’s easy to show acceptance and love when things are great (i.e.: when you see these couples “falling in love” on the Bachelor – a false reality where they are eating and drinking to their hearts content, not worrying about work or paying bills or complexities of the outside world for 8 solid weeks) – but the real challenge lies in accepting the not-so-desirable qualities our partners may exude. Accepting those we love for who they are – not for who we hope they will become – is love and compassion in its truest form.

7. Let your partner be themselves

“You must love in a way that your partner feels free.” I’ve said this before and honestly never fully grasped the concept until my current relationship. In the past, due in part to insecurity and/or immaturity, I never knew how to love freely. Yet now, I am completely and whole heartedly aware that if I want my partner to love me with his whole heart, I have to foster an environment where he can be vulnerable and share himself fully. Letting your partner know how much you love them, and how you always will – with no judgment toward anything they may think or feel – allows them to be their true, authentic self. Why not tell your partner the ways in which you appreciate and accept them? My man wants to go golf with friends? Go! He wants to stay for lunch and a few beers? Do it! Love with all your heart and let your partner CHOOSE you.  

It’s not always easy to love compassionately. It requires patience, emotional intelligence and self-awareness. None of us are perfect – if we look for things to criticize in our significant other, I’m sure we can all find them. The key is to catch ourselves BEFORE we begin to criticize or get irritated. In those moments, bring yourself back to all of the positive attributes of your partner/relationship. If you both operate from a place of compassion and kindness, your relationship will come out on top.

XO,

Jenn

Carbs are NOT the Enemy!

Confused about carbs?? It's amazing how often I hear people say they're going "low carb" or how they're scared to eat that morning bowl of oats... and I just want to scream out "Carbs are not the enemy!!!"

Now, that's not to say I'd suggest hitting your local greasy spoon for a tall stack of pancakes drenched in butter and syrup, followed up by a burger on a hot, buttery bun with a side of fries for lunch... all washed down with a bowl of Fettuccine Alfredo for dinner. All I'm saying is carbs are not the enemy. And we should stop treating them as such. 

Let's debunk some common carbs myths and discuss the benefits of eating those tasty whole grains! 

1) They fuel your workout. Take it from someone who had their carbs cut as they trained for 3 hours a day, 6 days a week, in preparation for my first fitness competition. Carbs are life. Okay, maybe not life, but carbs do help fuel you for those long, grueling workouts. I'll give you a real-life example:
I was one month out from my show and headed into my local gym for leg day. Now I think it's worth mentioning, I LOVE leg day!! I train glutes directly once a week, hammies once and quads once. That's three days where I beat the every living life out of my little legs. So you can imagine my amazement when I loaded my barbell with 165lbs (a weight I never had trouble picking up thus far) and couldn't get it off the ground. I'm not talking couldn't fully extend... I'm talking not even an inch off the ground. I had ZERO energy and less than zero strength. Prior to cutting carbs, I was crushing 50 pullups a day. Once my carbs were cut, I could barely throw my 100lb body up to the bar... it was brutal. 
The lesson I learned is that our bodies need carbs - ESPECIALLY before and after we lift. Which leads me to my next point...
2) They help build muscle mass. Ingesting carbs after a workout kicks off the recovery and muscle growth process! After an intense gym session, our bodies are depleted of glycogen (stored energy) and glucose (usable energy). The reason being, when we're lifting weights our muscles are working hard - using up all available glucose and glycogen for energy. Once our bodies get to a point where there is simply no more glucose/glycogen left to use, we then begin secreting the hormone cortisol - which essentially eats up our muscle tissue for protein and converts it into glucose. This whole process - known as gluconeogenesis - results in a loss of muscle tissue. What a bummer, right?? Which is why it's critical to ingest carbs and protein - getting them to your exhausted muscles immediately following a tough workout. 
3) They help you recover faster. Eating complex carbohydrates after an intense lifting session can minimize delayed onset muscle soreness by replenishing glycogen levels, support immune system function, and assist with overall muscle repair (when paired with protein). 

And if the reasons above aren't enough, let's face it. Carbs are freakin delicious. Just remember that mostly EVERYTHING we eat has carbs. Fruit, vegetables, multi-vitamins, you name it! However, all carbs are not created equal. Some great complex carbohydrates to add into your diet are:

• Brown rice
• Oatmeal (cook it in water and fold egg whites in at the end!)
• Sweet potatoes
• Quinoa 
• Brown rice cakes
• Ezekiel bread (their cinnamon raisin bread toasted and topped with a tablespoon of almond butter is the BOMB dot com)
• All veggies

If you take away one thing from this post, I hope that it is the mere fact that carbs - and food in general - are not the enemy. They're fuel. They work in conjunction with our training routines and should be enjoyed and appreciated. Life is too short to live in fear of food!

XO,

Jenn